Kipling Kipling is offline


About Me

  • About Kipling
    I am a bard by Design.
    I am a bard, I write prose, riddles, and ditties. Here is one now:

    The Great Sword of Compensation

    There once was a dwarf in a land of yore
    Far away from any other shore
    Who sharpened his sword both day and night
    To battle the evils of hate and blight

    His sword was so heavy it took three men
    Of strength and admirable pow'r
    To heave the big thing onto the dwarf's back
    In anything under an hour

    It could cleave through brick houses and walls of stone
    The creator was thought be Hatian.
    But we all knew why he wore the beast
    It was the Greatsword of Compensation.

    And though it was said in the back of his head
    Ran thoughts of pure intent
    We still knew the battle-scarred dwarf
    Didn't use that sword to pay rent.

    (Didn't use the sword to pay reeeent!)

    The Greatsword of Compensation
    Would make any man stand proud
    If any were able to lift it alone
    And not use it as a phallic shroud

    Here's t'nother, cuz I'm feeling gracious, and it's a good place to keep it:

    Hydras! Arg! Hey!

    A thought comes to him, and Gaiden bursts out in song, the first refrain echoing off the deck and waves,

    Me spic'n'span vessel,
    'Twas nae in distress'l,
    'Till 'long cames a Hydra,
    'Is necks all a mess'l.

    And up on a wave,
    It smote ruin, yea,
    Yar, that damn-ned Hydra,
    Hydras! Arg! Hey!

    He fought me all night,
    This Creature of might
    I hate the darn Hydra!
    I hate'm, alright!?

    Not once did he stop,
    On bott'm nor top
    'Twas ship against Hydra!
    Timber twisted, and pop'd!

    And up on a wave,
    It smote ruin, yea,
    Yar, that damn-ned Hydra,
    Hydras! Arg! Hey!

    Oh finally it slowed
    Why? Noone knowed
    Doom was 'pon Hydra
    And ale it done flowed

    'For the fleeting last gasp
    In a reptiloid rasp
    Nigh pitied the hydra
    I leaned in, and asked

    'Why, vile creature?'
    It heaved is features
    Spake the evil Hydra,
    'Made way for Teacher'

    And up on a wave,
    It smote ruin, yea,
    Yar, that damn-ned Hydra,
    Hydras! Arg! Hey!
  • Octavius Thorpe
  • Nationality
    Coral Sea Islands
  • Signature
    Chaotic characters follow their consciences, resent being told what to do, favor new ideas over tradition, and do what they promise if they feel like it. Pokemon Trainer Card


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  • Join Date: Nov 22 '09
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