Kipling
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Last Activity: Today 8:24pm
About Me
- About Kipling
- Location
- Almorath
- Occupation
- I am a bard by Design.
- Interests
- I am a bard, I write prose, riddles, and ditties. Here is one now:
The Great Sword of Compensation
There once was a dwarf in a land of yore
Far away from any other shore
Who sharpened his sword both day and night
To battle the evils of hate and blight
His sword was so heavy it took three men
Of strength and admirable pow'r
To heave the big thing onto the dwarf's back
In anything under an hour
It could cleave through brick houses and walls of stone
The creator was thought be Hatian.
But we all knew why he wore the beast
It was the Greatsword of Compensation.
And though it was said in the back of his head
Ran thoughts of pure intent
We still knew the battle-scarred dwarf
Didn't use that sword to pay rent.
(Didn't use the sword to pay reeeent!)
The Greatsword of Compensation
Would make any man stand proud
If any were able to lift it alone
And not use it as a phallic shroud
Here's t'nother, cuz I'm feeling gracious, and it's a good place to keep it:
Hydras! Arg! Hey!
A thought comes to him, and Gaiden bursts out in song, the first refrain echoing off the deck and waves,
Me spic'n'span vessel,
'Twas nae in distress'l,
'Till 'long cames a Hydra,
'Is necks all a mess'l.
And up on a wave,
It smote ruin, yea,
Yar, that damn-ned Hydra,
Hydras! Arg! Hey!
He fought me all night,
This Creature of might
I hate the darn Hydra!
I hate'm, alright!?
Not once did he stop,
On bott'm nor top
'Twas ship against Hydra!
Timber twisted, and pop'd!
And up on a wave,
It smote ruin, yea,
Yar, that damn-ned Hydra,
Hydras! Arg! Hey!
Oh finally it slowed
Why? Noone knowed
Doom was 'pon Hydra
And ale it done flowed
'For the fleeting last gasp
In a reptiloid rasp
Nigh pitied the hydra
I leaned in, and asked
'Why, vile creature?'
It heaved is features
Spake the evil Hydra,
'Made way for Teacher'
And up on a wave,
It smote ruin, yea,
Yar, that damn-ned Hydra,
Hydras! Arg! Hey! - Gender
- Male
- PostbitChars
- Octavius Thorpe
- Nationality
- Coral Sea Islands
- Class
- Magic-User
- Signature
