1001 things I'm not allowed to do.
 

Pretty simple, here. A list of 10001 things that one should not do during a D&D session, lest they piss off the DM.

1. I am not allowed to cast true resurrection on dragonscale armour. (Especially when someone is wearing it.)

(also, if we manage to get to 10001, I will personally ask all of you for your addresses and bake you all a cookie)

2. I am not allowed to play a multiclassed Fighter/Cleric/Mage/Thief, because thats way too many classes and its unfair to the party's actual Fighter, Cleric, Mage and Thief.

3. I am not allowed to make any attack I make a called shot to the nuts.

4. When playing a Bard, I am not allowed to actually sing a song, whether it is made up or i heard it on the radio. "My singing irritates the Dm's ear drums" :D

5. Even if we're allowed to play cat-like characters, none of them can wear a hat.
(Watching the Cat in the Hat right now :P)

6 I am not allowed to tie up my enemies and toss them to hungry monsters in order to avoid random encounters.

7 I am not allowed to use basic real world knowledge of botany to kill off entire armies with relatively little difficulty.

8 I am not allowed to have a decanter of endless water. Ever.

(And by "not" I mean "no longer")

9. I am not aloud to take ranks in Perform: Mime.

10)I am not allowed to give my cohort the leadership feat.)

11) I am not allowed to have my cohort take ranks in Perform:Mime

12) I am not allowed to do anything that would make me more evil than the current big bad.
13) I am not allowed to purposely use overpowered, outdated rules just because the DM doesn't know there was a fix on them.
14) I am not allowed to recreate any scene from Caligula.
15) I am not allowed to start a fight that I know the party can't win.