Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.


Bad courtship ideas

   
Well here's a longer one that actually happened to me:

Whilst in the UK I decided to invite a girl over for dinner, and not being much of a cook, settled on roast chicken + roast veggies. I mean, how hard can it be? At anyrate, I got home to realise I had forgotten to thaw the chicken, so it was basically a lump of ice. Now in Australia there are a number of workarounds for this, from microwave to "cook from frozen". Sadly, I was informed by a laughing housemate that in the UK, the chicken giblets (and lord only knows why anyone would want chicken entrails with their chicken) live in a plastic bag inside the chicken, a bit like a reverse Egyptian mummy. Of course, in this case said plastic wrapped giblets were in effect encased in a prison of chicken ice, and no amount of
For those that don't know, insta-thawing involves the use of a hammer
insta-thawing could convince them to dislodge.

So it's just roast veggies for dinner. That's OK, she's the forgiving kind, I am sure she will understand.

So I put the veggies on, she arrives, we retire to the lounge to let the oven do its work, and I come back an hour later to find that one of my caring housemates has seen that someone left the oven on, so thoughtfully turned it off.

Now there's not even roast veggies for dinner.

Haha, to top it off you could then have said, "Well I'm trying to help you lose weight!"

the night ended OK, we went back to hers for two things that begin with "S", one of which was sandwiches. Still, its a more interesting line for this thread. lets have some RL courting disasters.

I was always partial to: "Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see! Heyo!"

Yeah. Yeah..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael View Post
lets have some RL courting disasters.
Let's not go there.

Ever.

there's a reason I've forgotten them.

I have a decent story. From nearly a year ago now. I'm not sure I can properly convey just how ridiculous this was, but I'll try. Wasn't me, but rather some chick I came across, so sorry if you were hoping for a different point of view.

So, I was at this camp, right? Volunteering. Free food and board for a week is a good deal when you like working with kids anyway. So I ran into this chick. First day, before the kids got there, I talked to her a bit. I didn't know anybody, neither did she, everything was perfectly normal at this point. Next day the kids got there, and naturally, we didn't hang much. But over the course of the week, she hung out with me. Quite a bit, considering that we were both supposed to be working. She came and hung around with my group a few times, which my kids didn't really mind. They were in the 14-16 range, and she was 18, and not really bad looking. Now, I was cool with her hanging out, although to be honest I kind of felt like she ought to be with her kids, but whatever.
Now it eventually became apparent that she was lying to me about stuff to impress me, which is just weird. I mentioned something about pot, suddenly she was talking like she was a total stoner. She mentioned something about some nightclub's bondage night. I ask about it, and her story immediately falls apart. I don't know how many of the little anecdotes and tidbits I got over the course of the week were legit and how many were made up, because I didn't press her about every little thing, but a pretty big portion of things I actually asked about were pretty obviously made up or embellished to the point of being unrecognizable.
So anyway, she started hitting on me in lots of little ways. Mostly nothing too overt. So I made it clear without outright saying anything that I wasn't really interested. She got emo about it and went off by herself. This happened more than once, she was always cheerful enough again by the next time we met. Now I said it was mostly nothing to overt, but that doesn't mean she was necessarily being classy. At one point, she totally did that finger-licking thing. Like, right out of porn. Ladies, that's not alluring. It doesn't make you look sexy. She just looked desperate.
The last night when there was a dance for the kids, she was all over me. Seriously, I couldn't sit down without her being in my lap. She wanted me to dance with her, but I declined, citing my incurable soberness. Of course, this was a pretty weak excuse, as I'd already been up on the stage rocking the cowbell and dancing around for one of the skits. So that put her in a funk for the rest of the night. Didn't stop her from getting my number the next day, though.

I'm volunteering at the same place later this summer. I wonder if anything similar will happen?

Sandwiches and soda doesn't sound like a bad end for it, Michael.

Yes, and then he demonstrated his ability to court her through eloquent burping.




 

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