Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.


D&D story tales

   
Actually, the rats mass-grappled him to pin and then let the fleas drain him dry.

I stab you,
You stab me,
Let's all get lots of xp,
With a hack and a slash
And a knife to the head,
I loot your body 'cuz you're dead.

I'm not so sure about that, you're forgetting that as a high level ranger he has access to an animal companion, and here comes that big purple dinosaur now... If you are a barbarian and have 40 ft. speed you'll be able to get to the bushes and gain a bonus on your hide check not to be found (If you've loaded points into hide). If not, well, better hope you have a high AC, because it can full attack on a charge.

Once upon a time there was a brown bear, a dire bear, and a were-bear living in a house deep in the forest. One day, while the bears were out wreaking havoc on the countryside, a human rogue named Goldilocks came upon their house. The simple lock on the door was only a DC 20 to pick, so she let herself right in.

Once inside, she found three bowls of porridge on the table. She tasted the first one, but it was too hot. She tasted the second one, but it was too cold. She tasted the third one, and it was just right, so she ate it all up.

Then, she saw the living room, where there were three chests. She thought about stealing the first one, but it was too small and the 50% market value wouldn't be worth the effort. She tried to take the second one, but it was too heavy for her 10 strength to carry with light encumbrance. She picked up the third one, and it fit just right inside her sack.

Then she went up to the bedroom, where there were three beds. She laid down in the first one, but it was too soft. She laid down in the second one, but it was too hard. So she laid down in the third one, and promptly fell fast asleep, for it was an enchanted bed to help the were-bear sleep through the full moon and the hapless rogue had failed her Will save.

After a while, the bears returned to see their door open. Furious, they rushed inside.

"Someone has been eating my porridge!" growled the brown bear (though only the other bears could understand).
"Someone has been eating MY porridge!" roared the dire bear (and the others could barely understand).
"Someone has been eating MY PORRIDGE!" shouted the were-bear (in Common since he was in human form), "and it's all gone!"

Then the bears went too the living room and saw their chests had been disturbed.

"Someone has been fiddling with my chest!" growled the brown bear.
"Someone has been fiddling with MY chest!" roared the dire bear.
"Someone has been fiddling with MY chest!" shouted the were-bear, "and it's been stolen!"

They moved quickly upstairs, making sure to make spot and listen checks to avoid attacks of opportunity should the thief still be lurking.

"Someone has been sleeping in my bed!" growled the brown bear.
"Someone has been sleeping in MY bed!" roared the dire bear.
"Someone has been sleeping in MY BED!" shouted the were-bear, "And here she is!"

And after a full-round action coup de grace, they ate her all up!

AWESOME! Someone bring cookies for this sir!!!

Thank you, thank you very much. I'm here through Tuesday*! Try the veal!

*Tuesday, Octember 1, 20X6

Mexican wave!!!!!


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