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Please Continue the Story!

 
Please Continue the Story!

Okay, so the point of this is for me to try my hand at writing something with other people, so that I am not in control of the plot. It's not supposed to be RP, or anything with a GM and characters etc. Think more like that game in grade school where each person writes a paragraph of a story, and it goes in a line where everyone contributes.

Another note, it should be obvious right off, but I mostly have experience with fanfiction (back in HS when I blew countless hours reading that instead of my textbooks). Therefore, forgive me if my language and style make that too obvious. =)

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StoryIt was mid-morning when she heard the pounding on her front door. In her experience there were several different types of knocks. There was the timid knock of a neighbor complaining about uncut grass. There was the firm rap of a landlord coming to collect the rent. There was even the rowdy knock of drunken friends returning after a night on the town, usually accompanied by bawdy singing. This knock, however, was like none of those. This knock was a knock of desperation.

Great, she thought, just great. No matter how big the emergency, if Angela wants me to drive across town again to get her emergency Plan B, the answer is no. The banging started up again, stronger this time. Now with a note of panic.

"Okay, okay, Jesus Christ, I'm coming. If that door breaks, you're paying for it" She yelled in the general direction of the door. Sliding on her slippers and wrapping a bathrobe around her pj's, she made her way to the foyer. Whatever Angela wanted, it wasn't happening. She unlatched the door and drew it open, ready to tell off her best friend for once again having a little too much to drink and not thinking of the consequences which accompanied overnight guests. At the sight of the figure standing in her doorway, the words died in her throat.

"Quick, let me in!" the figure demanded. Or pleaded. She couldn't tell which.

"No." she replied staunchly. She hadn't seen him in years. For him to turn up NOW, demanding entrance to HER home, well, that was just too much.

"You must!"

"That is where you're wrong. I have no obligation toward you. And of all people, YOU have the least authority to go about demanding entrance to my home, and my life. Go back to the hellhole where you came from."

He was angry, she could see. From the fire in his eyes to the way he shifted towards her, using his height to impose his greater mass in her doorway, he looked ready to explode. She thought he might try to push past her, but no, that was not how it worked. There were rules for these sorts of things, and she had warded her door with protection not even he could pass. Besides, he had to be invited in, or at least welcomed. He was certainly not about to be either.

"Spare me your paltry--" here he broke off, tilting his head towards his shoulder, listening. She listened too. There was a faint rumbling down the street, but the tightly packed buildings in low-rent New York prevented her from seeing beyond the rusted fire escape three buildings down. Was it just her, or was the street darkening? Why were there no people in the street? "Eva," he said, definitely pleading this time, "It's hunting me, you must let me in.... Please." She imagined it was the first time he'd said "Please" in his life. Or begged for that matter.

"It's Eve, and no, whatever beastie you've invited to MY world, well, you had no right. Let it eat you, for all I care."

He was suddenly still. "Do you really mean that? Do you hate me so much you'd kill me? Because that's what it's come here to do. Kill me. It won't rest till the debt has been paid."

"That's not my..." she started off snappishly, but her chest tightened as a shadow flitted behind a car across the street. Then there was another. The rumbling grew louder until it was almost a roar, and she could have sworn she saw a... a... a something slither beneath the car. Her street was almost in total darkness now, as light seemed to be sucked toward the center of the blackness. She could see something moving in the shadows, something huge and full of hatred and hunger, advancing steadily on her door. It paused a split second before suddenly lunging across the street. For a moment, she was transfixed by glowing red eyes.

"Eve!" her unwanted guest implored, shouting to be heard over the roar. There was something in his eyes she'd never seen before. It was fear, real fear. It petrified her. That, more than anything he could have said, is what changed her mind.

"Enter!" she shouted, quickly opening the door enough to allow him to slip past. The monster was on her sidewalk now. There wasn't time to think, time to breathe. Eve slammed the door just as the beast reached it, and she could feel something heavy slam against the door not a second after she closed it. Her wards were burning so brightly they lit up her entire foyer, (which, to be fair, was not that big) and the words beneath it were glowing with such force she was worried they might ignite her wall.

She rounded on her guest, who was looking entirely too smug for someone who had just been pleading for his life not seconds before.

"What." she demanded, "The Hell. Was THAT."


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Continuations/contributions/questions/comments/concerns welcome!

Ahaaa! Nice beginning. No one could read that and not want to read more - great start. Also the knock - I've done that many times; focusing in on a tiny point in time or object or event, disecting it into basic parts, describing it fully. It tends to make the reader salivate. Sorry I didn't notice this until now - lifes been hectic. Definitely want to have a crack at this - it's much like the other three collaborations we had in the collab folder. Good job, Splat!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Solo View Post
Turns out, it's man.
Haw haw.

Story"What." she demanded, "The Hell. Was THAT."

His eyes pierced through her with deadly seriousness.

"we don't say it's name, it gives it power." he reached for the shades a closed them quickly and then began to look about the apartment frantically.

"You're starting to freak me out Donnie" she implored, asking her question again in the subtext.

Donnie found what he was looking for, it was a meat tenderizer in her sink full of dirty dishes. She half expected him to make some crude comment about how she still couldn't manage to keep a house, but he didn't. Donnie hadn't been looking for the tenderizer specifically, just something with some heft to it; he was on a mission... a mission that led him straight to her dresser vanity where he smashed the mirror with the rolling pin and then began to run towards the bathroom.

Eve's heart began to race and pound,

"Jesus Christ Donnie!" was what she meant to say, but it was mixed with a bit of flabbergasted and came out as some unintelligible noise.

"It will use the mirrors. Do you have any others?" he asked in a panicked tone as he smashed the mirror on the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.

Crash!

This wasn't normal, not even for Donnie. He was always a bit off from normal folk, being a government spook, but this was different, this was, probably... she wasn't sure what, but in the last minute Eve had come to understand that the quiet night of writing an episode for that crappy sitcom was over and something horrible was probably going to happen. She'd have to explain to the director why the episode was late... but all of a sudden that seemed a little less of a priority than it might have otherwise been.

Hey dauph - should we add another thread and keep all our comments in that one, so we can review and continue in one thread? This is getting interesting. I have two great scene and perspective changes in mind, but waiting for the 'write' moment...

Another option would be for someone to create a wiki page for the story, since anyone can edit those. A third option would be to use a Google Document and designate others as collaborators by request in the thread. Whichever makes folks happy is fine with me.

Then, by all means, please do create a discussion thread. Alternately, create a story thread and transplant the story bit so far for a more "pure" story thread. I can change the name of this thread to whatever ya'll want so they obviously go together (Spattered Ink can do that, too - double click in the space next to the title on the forum page).

Easier option:

Put in story stuff in a field set tag, put everything else in regular mark up.

WATCH:

Story

I am the story text


I am not the story text




 

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