Non Sequitur

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I Win 2: The Sequel!

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Who wins?
Mordae 1 25.00%
Mordae, for sure 1 25.00%
Of course it's Mordae 1 25.00%
Who could it be but Mordae? 1 25.00%

Originally Posted by Hilscher View Post
It's a well known fact-like piece of information that Nazis are notoriously avid chess-players. Back in the interrogation room, Mein Herr.
I'll hold the Win.
And remember: it'll only hurt more if you tense up.

Fortunately, being a Nazi isn't even illegal in the civilized world. You know, back here in America? It must be nice to leave the savage lands of the Pitcairn Islands and get away from your pidgin-speaking island-billy family for a while and experience the liberalized atmosphere absent in the British "empire" which bans butter knives and free speech. I think you should go home and visit your family, though, and help them bring in the wood harvest from Henderson Island. It has been too long! I'll keep The Win while you're gone.

Ah, my furtive little's not simply being a Nazi; it's all the experiments you performed trying to graft kangaroo legs onto a werewolf torso with a Panzer cannon mounted in the chest. These crimes cannot simply be ignored.
Don't worry. My hillbilly Pitcairnian family will wait while I babysit the Win outside your interrogation room. I only hope you can stand to be away from your Wagner and jaegerschnitzel for a few more months. I know how you Ubermensch can get so easily homesick for such things.

They're known as chimeras, and they were for science, sir. I'll have you know my work was invaluable in advancing cross species transplantation which is as we speak being applied towards eliminating blood type shortages and maybe even organ shortages! You can take the high road all you like now, but the elephant in the room is all the scientific breakthroughs I made despite my so-called "questionable methods."

In fact, I have won several awards in the underground. Which is why I will be keeping the win.

Ah, yes, your "scientific breakthroughs". I expected such desperate claims to come spattering from your wicked mouth when you finally broke down and admitted your culpability, Herr Doktor Klimtverschmiktenvolker.
You're not the only terrible person to receive awards for his work in the underground. At least you at last come clean with your true identity. Alas, Operation Paperclip's promises of amnesty-for-work have long since passed, my maniacal friend. Your only employment shall be to fill a very tight vacancy at the end of a short rope.
As you dance the hempen jig, I shall carry the Win away in far cleaner hands than yours.

Did you really think it would be so easy to outsmart the infamous Klimtverschmiktenvolker? Your naivete is touching, but let me break it down for you. There will be no execution. My research has led to hundreds of patents, and the royalties have made me a very powerful man. A very powerful man indeed. I have significant shareholdings in dozens of companies, and more than a few politicians under my thumb. Let's just say it is your livelihood that is kaput. I made a few calls, and it seems you will soon be unable to even find work as a fry cook. While you are busy panhandling for dimes and digging half eaten bagels out of the trash, I will be busy watching your father clean the outside windows of my 42nd floor office suite! Your mother, sister, and any other female relatives I find out about can have a job... inside the suite. I'll even let them admire my Win; I am not a cruel man.

Ha ha ha!

EDIT: My evil plan has come to fruition! I have pushed this thread to the bottom of the page, and soon it will go to the great page 2 in the sky and The Win shall be mine!


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