Granted, it now always rains cheese and all the plants dry out, forcing all of humanity to live on an all cheese diet, and drastically reducing the ammount of oxygen available.

I wish I could juggle

Granted. You can now telekinetically lift droids & X-Wings, though your nemesis announce you he is your father...

I wish glittering in the sun would actually be painful and lethal for any vampire with this ability.

Ninja'd...

Granted, after some practice, you can now juggle. Though you are now obsessive compulsive about it, meaning you can't stop, which turns horrible to your professional carreer and romantic life.

Granted, but there is now a death toll of estimated 10000 and climbing as people commit suicide trying to act out the Twilight series, killing themselves when touched by sunlight in any way.

I wish the government actually did things that made sense.

Granted, teh entire governemnt is turned over toa sentient computer system which enslaves humanity and allocates resources in order to maximize productivity and achieve high score. Not very humane, but it makes sense.

I wish I could fly like superman.

Granted. But then your Superman envy gets out of hand and you start emulating him in other ways, too, including the tights, etc. You alienate all of your friends and soon learn that the life of a superhero is a lonely one, especially for a guy who wears a suit like that!

I wish there was a way to get up early in the morning without having to wake up in the dark and actually get out of bed.

Granted, someone sneaks into your room at night and changes your clock and alarm so that is says 6:30 when the sun rises. You also receive a paraplegic support crane that has a track throughout the house.

I wish Star Wars was real.

Granted. Unfortunately you lived on Alderon.

I wish I could invent an FTL drive.

Granted. You could but never do, because everyone thinks you're insane and doesn't believe you. Due in no small part that the necessary fuel source doesn't actually exist. So you spend the next 15 years in an asylum ranting about how the pixies hide their urine from you. After which, budget cuts force the shutdown of the facility.

I wish to be able to speak every language on earth. I know I'll probably never use most of them. But it'd be nice to know all of them.

Granted. Including C, Basic, assembly, Fortran, and every code or cypher used by any intelligence agency, terrorist group, financial institution or backyard clubhouse. also the languages of birds, dogs, cats, bees, and any other animal which communicates including as yet undiscovered species of insects. The CIA learns of your ability and sticks you in an undisclosed secure location feeding you communications picked up by the NSA.

I wish the sun would turn green for 5 minutes.