Sorry sir, but I took both wins and split the real one into pieces. You currently have the body double win. You can tell if you have the win if whenever you activate it, this appears backwards. The body double does it forwards. I reached this conclusion after about ten years of constant research.

Here "it" is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Ah, silly silly Noah. I'm afraid that wasn't the Win you claimed and divided into seven pieces...it was actually a half-eaten piece of Starbuck's carrot cake. Don't worry, it's a mistake frequently made by people like you who haven't ever actually seen a Win. In the spirit of Christmas, I'm letting you keep whatever bits of carrot cake you can recover, while I sit here by the fire in my chateau sipping brandy and admiring the real Win on my mantelpiece.
Cheers!

I'm still recovering from the total mental breakdown that came with the revelation that the win I though was real is actually fake and never was real.
Danny, I know some good mercenaries if you need some support keeping the win safe; they are ninja liches so it'll be like they were never there. Feel free to ask and I'll send them on over any time. It's not like I need them to protect a win or anything.

^-Has witnessed the win.

It's mine, not noahs.

The Win you witnessed was part of a collapsing parallel universe in which Ralph Nader is President and housecats ride around in chariots pulled by little teams of sentient cockroaches. Alas, that universe has ended, while here in the REAL universe, the Win is mine. It's always been mine. It will always be mine.

But of the day and the hour when Mordae will award the win, no man knoweth, not the visitors, nor the members, nor even DannyTorrence, but only Mordae. The Win will come like a thief in the night. So be aware!

Many false prophets will come, claiming they know the Win. Pay them no heed.

The win is a lie.

A-HA!! By this logic, then, Mordae is revealed to be neither a man nor a member. I therefore posit that he's a Mythweavers bot, and thus assume immediate responsibility for the dispensation of The Win. I award it to...
DannyTorrance! Woo-hoo!

It's like the cake isn't it? Noah and Mordae are gathering us here to eliminate us experiments!

I suspect Noah is a bot as well, albeit a far more delusional one who isn't aware he's a bot. With that said, yes---the rest of you are just experiments here to be eventually eliminated, while I sit up in the observation booth chuckling and eating my box of "Fiddle Faddle".