Dotted-Line Vision -------------------

The ability to, without opening the package, read the entire contents of a software end-user license agreement.

(1) No one ever reads them anyway.
(2) Even if you did read it, and even if it said you had to fork over your first-born, you'd probably be stuck using the software anyway.

The ability to transform into a spacebar for a keyboard. But transforming is a one way trip; you can't transform back once you are a spacebar.

The ability to instantly remove cat hair from clothes or furniture...by transforming it into dog hair.

Not too bad if you're allergic to cats but not to dogs!

The power to bleep out the letter "m" every time it is said out loud.

The ability to, in the immortal words of Colonel Samuel Trautman, 'eat things that would make a billy goat puke'.

Who would want to?

This is one for all you fellow Starcraft players:

The ability to speak Zerg.

Pretty much any comic book superpower, if you specify that the laws of physics still apply to it.

Super strength = shattered bones
Super speed = super inertia = super head-on collisions
Invisibility = blindness
Fire power = guess who the flames are consuming for fuel?

The power to be invulnerable while falling from great heights, but vulnerable to everything else...like getting punched in the face...or shot.