Added a vignette for Kormác's first encounter with Mevakri.
Do you require the complete write-out of the background? I was thinking of writing his confrontation with his parents as another vignette, and other than that there aren't any major points in his background, I guess. I could do it, but I admit that I'm being a bit lazy at the moment, and I'm not sure if I'll have time to finish everything up before the deadline as it is.
Less than 22 hours left! There's a good chance I won't be able to provide feedback tomorrow, so I suggest you either submit applications tonight (ideally in the next 2-3 hours) or make them really good--ideally, both.
Might not be able to finish my vignettes by tomorrow, JD--I may just be cutting my losses and submitting Taelin as-is. If you have any further feedback/questions/whatever, I'll do my best to answer them before tomorrow.
The disagreements he already had, he mostly just got spurned into action by talking with Mevakri. Before meeting her, leaving his parents and going out into the world, he only ever went to small villages, and lived more or less secluded and alone; talking to her showed him that there was more that he could do with his life than living in the shadow of his parents, all the while reviling and disagreeing with their style of life.
I have some flashbacks and mentions of the discussions itself planned for the "A New Beginning" vignette, which will be about him actually confronting his parents. I'll also expand more on his philosophy on "Darkness Within", where he also uses his Dragonmark.... and maybe I'll write out a third vignette, if I have the time/energy for it.
both. [fieldset=@WhiteKnight777]Thanks for this--unfortunately, you left out the most interesting parts. (And also stuff on Zilargo, Darguun, Valenar, etc.) Note, too, that goblins don't quite fit into the same category as the rest of the "monstrous races"--they're widespread across all of Khorvaire (because, after all, they were there first). So not only does Cyre have goblinoid mercenaries fighting for it, it also has a fair number of goblins in its regular army, and there are sizable (but generally segregated) goblin areas in the cities of Cyre.
Also: how much of the claims that Sebastian gets along well with both nobles and commoners is self-delusion, and how much of it is fact?
Yeah - I left those parts out 'cause I didn't have access to all my sources at the time, and I wanted to try and fact-check before I finished 'em. I've added stuff for the five nations, and I've made a distinction between "Monstrous races" as a whole, and goblinoids in specific.
On the subject of Sebastian's relations with nobility and commoners... well, the blurbs I wrote on the subjects are fairly accurate... they've just been spun. Sebastian gets along fairly well with members of either class, in that he can go to a noble's party and not embarass him, or walk into a working-class tavern and (probably) not get tossed out onto the streets fer bein' a nob. On the other hand, he's something of an outsider in either setting. Among nobleborn, his dress, manners, and a hundred other little details (not to mention the simple fact of his name,) reveal him as "not one of us." How an individual noble-born reacts to that depends on their prejudices. Some people have sneered at him for his presumption, others embrace him for it (Violet, for example.) A rare few simply don't care, and try to judge him on merit alone. And then there's always those... wonderful individuals who consider him a "credit to his people."
Among the commoners, it's a similar situation, only in reverse - even if he were to dress down for the evening, his breadth of knowledge, his mode of speech, and the subjects he talks about all mark him out as a member of government. Again, how an individual reacts to him depends on their personal predilections and prejudices. Some people get pugnacious 'cause they think he's putting on airs. Some people get nervous, because they think he'll report what they say to someone of authority. Some people try to curry favor. And some commoners don't care, or even hope he might be a way to get their voices heard.
As always, thanks for the feedback. It's extremely helpful in smoothing out rough edges.
I have finally overcome a nasty flu and a rather heavy work-load to complete my application.
Regrettably, there won't be time for many rounds of constructive criticism, but I promise to work more on my character after the deadline if you are interested in having him in your group.
Also, I decided to come out in the open with my app.
Fargherat the Mourner
Race: Shifter Nationality: Cyran Occupation:Cultivator
Age: 43
"Fargherat!" his father calls, but his son is nowhere to be seen or heard. It was not the first time the young shifter had abandoned his chores to aid the Cyran armies. His tribe had kept away from the fighting, focusing on nurturing the soil and keeping the harvests coming to feed the civilians of the lands. "And today of all days," the shifter snarls to himself. "This crop will not cut itself."
If Fargherat had heard his father all the way to the hill top, he would probably have ignored him anyways.
From his view point he could see armies from Breland, Karrnath, Thrane and from his beloved Cyre.
Some of them already engaged in battle, with horrific arcane energy bashing each other's armies as well as conventional weapons clashing together in the skirmishes. A tear runs down Fargherat's left cheek.
His beloved, adopted motherland was violated by forces from every kingdom and previous allies had turned on them.
Though not accepted by his tribe and his father in particular, the shifter felt compelled to to his part to save Cyre from destruction.
He looks up in the air and whistles. Seconds later, a familiar chirp grows in intensity. Fargherat gently offers his left index finger to the sparrow, and though he would like to offer his little messenger a smile, he knows better than to reveal his fangs and scare the bird. "Bring this message to Uril Ytaf," he says as he carefully attaches a small note to its leg. "There, by the old oak."
Fargherat points at the Cyran platoon approaching the small river Gyrdon by the town of Greenland and the sparrow flaps his wings and takes to the air, flying towards his appointed destination. Fly, my friend. We smaller creatures must do what we can.
Fargherat grew up in Cyre, in the last quarter of the war. His tribe had originally migrated from Darguun to find new homes in the forests of Cyre. They had enjoyed relative peace with the goblins, but the War created an uprising there ans a much more hostile environment, so the tribe Elders decided they would seek their fortune in the neighboring country of Cyre. The small tribe of about fifty shifters did not engage in the wars around them and was left in relative peace by both invaders and the goverment of Cyre. Recognizing the perils surrounding them they made sure they could leave their camp at short notice if threatened. Fargherat was trained in the ancient knowledge of the druids as his father and his fathers before him and he was an avid learner.
Sometimes he would seek out the battles to witness the spectacle and mighty impact of the armies.
He soon experienced the horrors of war however, and as the War drew closer to their home and Cyre became the battleground for all of Khorvaire, he decided to do his part.
At first only from a distance in hiding and he would not engage fully in combat. But he found that his help could actually tip the fight in the favor of the Cyre defenders.
He would follow the armies from Cyre, never revealing himself, but the army scouts were aware of him.
Somehow a silent agreement was made: they would not reveal his presence and he would aid them as best as he could.
Each time the army disbanded their camp, they would leave behind rations and useful equipment for the druid.
On a battle on the western borders, Fargherat was approached by a small bird. It whispered to him the tribe was leaving Cyre in great haste as something terrible was about to happen and that he had to follow them into Breland.
Fargherat did as he was told, and only days after they crossed the Breland border, the Catastrophic happened.
The tribe soon found a place they could rebuild and start a new home, but Fargherat felt like his home was lost to him.
He was saddened and swore vengance on the enemies of Cyre.
He lived for a while with his tribe before leaving for New Cyre to aid the refugees there.
Among the many tents and huts he saw one of the captains of the former Cyre army and he recognized Fargherat as well.
It was an emotional encounter and they both greeted each other in the outmost respect.
Uril Ytaf, as the captain was called, insisted that Fargherat followed him to meet the exiled Prince of Cyre.
Fargherat felt very much out of his depth. He had neither clothes nor the manners to address a man of royalty and tried to decline, but the captain could not be reasoned with and Fargherat reluctantly followed.
As they reached a larger building, Fargherat was asked to wait in a small room.
After a short while the captain returned smiling. "Please follow me."
They entered the adjacent room where he was met by the young prince who commended him on his services to the Kingdom.
As a reward, he was offered a worn wooden talisman. The Prince laughed heartly when he saw the reaction on Fargherat's disappointed face. "There is much more to it than meets the eye, my friend. It was nice meeting you. You are welcome back here any time."
After this Fargherat made several trips into the Mournlands on behalf of Prince, both on his own and in larger groups.
Every time he entered the remains of the once proud Kingdom, he became more and more convinced its people could never return. But he keeps this to himself not to demoralize the Cyrans.
Fargherat is stopped by the two elite soldiers guarding the entrance to the Oargev's tent. "I have something to show His Majesty," the shifter exclaims, trying as best he can to hide his satisfied smile.
The guards whispers a few words and one of them enters the tent to return a few minutes later with the Prince.
Fargherat tries his best to make a courteous bow, but it is obvious he is not accustomed to such gestures. "My friend," the Prince greets warmly, in part to hide he has forgotten the shifters name. "What can I do for you this day?" "I could not bring Cyre back, but I have brought something back from Beautiful Cyre."
Fargherat gestures for the Prince to follow him and Oargev begins walking, with both guards at his heels.
They walk but fifty yards when the shifter stops right in front of a willow. "There, Your Majesty," he says with pride written all over his face. "Behold the Gillylion!" The Prince's eyes narrows in disbelief as he takes a closer look.
And there under the tree grows the delicate national flower of Cyre, which has never been found before outside its borders. "A Miracle!" Oargev declares, forgetting his stature to give the shifter a heartfelt hug. "I thank you for this, my friend. And I charge you now with the honor and responsibility of keeping it safe and alive." "Yes, Your Majesty," Fargherat replies with satisfaction. "I will happily defend it with my life."
Fargherat has brown hair and facial hair and emerald eyes.
He gathers his neck long hair in a pony tail.
His feral nature gives him a stooped posture and he's constantly very attentive of his surroundings. He dresses in loose brown robes held together by a simple, worn belt.
A long scar can be seen on his neck.
Fargherat does not have a high self-esteem and has a humble view of the World and his limited part in it.
He enjoys the company of others, though he has no problem with being on his own.
After the meeting with the Prince his commitment to rebuilding the Cyran Empire has increased greatly and he will go to great lengths to ensure the rights of its former population, his tribe included.
He has a high sense of justice and he would rather make a fair trade than succeeding in tricking the other part to give more for an item than its worth.
He is not experienced in the ways of social conduct and he lacks a lot of references others would take for granted.
His sense of humor is not well-developed and he can often take offense before realizing it was in fact a joke.
Fargherat is easily annoyed and irritated, but is calmed just as quickly.
His favorite spare-time activity is to watch the content people of New Cyre doing their chores.
There was one thing in the great realm of Cyre Fargherat never did care for: the vast use of Arcane magic.
In the tradition of his people the force of nature was used to channel back to aid teh nature itself. Arcanists just wielded the powerful force to do whatever they desired without reverence or the required knowledge of where the energy they used was really drawn from.
House Cannith was, and is, to Fargherat the personification of this and he never cared for the Beautiful Cyre's close bonds to the House. He is convinced the uncontrolled experiments in the Cannith workshops is to blame for the Cataclysm.
As a result of this Fargherat is wary of, if not loathes, arcane magic. And Cannith in particular.
Fargherat seeks revenge on those who destroyed his beloved country. In the case those arcanists who actually performed the deed are dead, he will track down the co-conspiritors and carry through the Cyran punishment.
He particularly likes and trusts the charismatic Prince Oargev and will gladly pledge his oath to him and to Cyre.
Update 2 is up and with that, I am off the computer until sometime this evening. Taking a much needed day off work and going somewhere that is not-work.