And then there are people like my wife who not only cannot get anything to grow but if you let them take over caring for a plant you grew it will 100% guaranteed... die! It's really amazing. I can get a tomato plant to blooming and production levels, a full vine / plant around 5' tall on a trellis, but as soon as my wife starts caring for it the thing will quite literally wither within a month or so, despite her following the watering instructions, I kid you not. I call her the "black thumb" of the family.
Hear me, auld Hangie, for a wee,/An' let poor damned bodies bee;/I'm sure sma' pleasure it can gie,/Ev'n to a deil,/To skelp an' scaud poor dogs like me,/An' hear us squeal! --Robert Burns, Address to the Deil