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Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.


Corrupt A Wish

   
Granted. The child hates you, though.

I wish it were April already.

Granted. But you died of hypothermia in december.

I wish for the design and patent for an electric powered, electricity generating turbine, with an efficiency of 350%. That safely generates 10 million kWh of electricity per year. And can be built using technology and materials that are no more advanced, rare, or expensive than those required to produce a 1980s television.

Granted. The only way to keep it functioning is to feed it live human babies, one per day, and they are destroyed completely in a gruesome, agonizing process that feeds their souls to the machine.

I wish my work had donuts today.

Granted, but you suddenly and inexplicably develop a severe donut allergy.

I wish I could shoot fire out of my hands.

Granted. But you can't shut it off. And aren't fire resistant.

Since "feeds on babies" clearly violates my "electricity powered" clause... my prior wish still stands for corruption.

Let's not do that again, shall we? I didn't say 'was fueled by babies' (actually I did, and I changed it for just that reason). Just as the only way to keep a conventional engine running is to 'feed' it coolant and oil in addition to the fuel it consumes, this one requires babies in addition to the electricity. Your prior wish has been corrupted.

I wish that every time someone made a wish, they also got a fish.

Granted. Do you really know how many times people wish, though? The word is used so often that before a day has passed the entire surface of the earth is bathed in trout to a depth of more than 10 feet. Slimy, floppy, and smelling of the wonderful freshwater streams from which they were magically plucked.

I wish that TanaNari would continue to remember to be nice and let things go (or rephrase the wish in a way that didn't require extensive parsing) so that I wouldn't have to take further action.

I play nice. I just expect that the rules set forth are adhered to. The fun of this is trying to design a setup that can't be corrupted with any obvious method and to be surprised by something clever. If I were to go after my own wish, I'd do something like "this technology is quickly weaponized by terrorists and used to blow up the western hemisphere... which knocks the eastern hemisphere into the moon".

Anyway. Third verse, same as the first. Oh, and you can't use the "arms race apocalypse" scenario since I just pointed it out so it wouldn't be clever at all.

Granted, except the required mass of the generator is greater than planet Earth can stably hold, and separating that mass from Earth would cause the planet's orbit to decay to a death spiral into the sun.

I wish for the ability to make people happy.

Granted, but for everyone you make happy, you become that much more depressed, permanently.

I wish that my wish was granted.





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