Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.

Corrupt A Wish

Granted. You're flat broke and can't afford any D&D books.

I wish Scarecrow could afford some D&D books.

Originally Posted by steampunkadept View Post
Book of Erotic Fantasies is the ONLY Core Book. All campaigns are nothing but raunchy sex, and D&D players are even further ostracized.

I wish more campaigns allowed the Book of Erotic Fantasies

Granted, but all your money has disappeared to help scarecrow pay.

I wish that they sold a collection for core books and all supplementals.

Granted. However, they don't give anyone a price break for buying everything; it costs several thousand dollars and is a miserable flop.

I wish I had a brain to computer interface that let me write computer software from my mind, using vague statements that resulted directly in lines of code.

Granted, but you are paralyzed from the neck down, to include vocal cords, and the machine has no power source.

I wish for the end of all life everywhere in the universe.

Granted. But the universe gets bored after about 4 and a half minutes and recreates life. Because, seriously, the universe LIKES its soap operas.

I wish for the ability to create localized alterations of the fundamental laws of physics and reality.

Granted but you are made catatonic by this ability and have no way to share your findings with the rest of the world, and since you did not specify how you would create these alterations, they are dependent on speech and hand gestures.

I wish for Gary Johnson to be elected president of the united states and the corruption of the USA to finally be known to the masses as we all finally reach the dreams our four fathers aspired to, of a free and sovereign land with true freedoms for all, instead of the lies and false freedoms we experience today.

Granted. Every. Last. Living. Person. Who could claim American citizenship. Or who's living here illegally. Or possesses an ownership claim of any real estate within the established territory of the USA (so, uh, a bunch of chinese guys mostly). Or stands to inherit that property after those with the current claim die (and so forth until we reach the cessation of all possible inheritance lines). All die.

Except Gary Johnson, who is now the only person in our country. We finally have true democracy, equality, and elimination of all corruption. Except Gary's corruption, of course, but since it is known and found as agreeable to all citizens, that makes it ok.

Of course, it don't take long before pretty much every other nation on earth moves in and starts cutting up our lands piecemeal. Start World War 3. And turn our planet into an irradiated death hole.

I wish for our planet to be an irradiated death hole.

Granted! But instead of it killing everyone, it brings everyone back to live, and they fix it, making the planet a great planet full of flowers and rainbows.

I wish the planet was full of flowers and rainbows (And unicorns, while you're at it)

Granted. The planet was full of flowers and rainbows and unicorns. Then an asteroid impacted with the planet causing enough damage to destroy all the flowers and the unicorns. With the atmosphere changing due to this event the rainbows even disappeared.

I wish the real world abided by the same laws of physics as cartoons.

Granted. You now get kicked in the balls constantly by your friends. You get blown up twice a day by pranksters. You get hit by mallets, dogs, dogs wielding cats, cats wielding dogs, a dog wielding 2 cats, and you got attacked by 1950s Batman so that Robin could make a bad joke. People keep putting mines in your pockets and your house moves to the top of a giant needle which you forget about EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I wish that I could explode at will.

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