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What to do if you meet an alien

   
What to do if you meet an alien

So, I saw this this morning, and, though I'm sure many of you have seen it before, I figured I'd share it! It's worth a laugh, though there are some good points as well.

What to do if you're the first person to meet an alien.

Assuming they have mouths? I'll bring them a cheeseburger and a cold cola, I'm sure that will make them friendly minded and if that fails? Well beer it is.

Have sex with them. Clearly that's why they're here.


Seriously, though, what moron came UP with this thing. First contact, if it happens, will happen a century before they actually GET HERE. Any aliens coming to earth have seen our broadcasts. They know as much about our analogue technology as we do. Digital tech will be more choppy, but they definitely got our analogue down pat. They know our languages. And SETI has shown them enough about our science and physiology that there's no doubt of our development on any cultural, biological, or technological level.


IF they show up. It's either because they want to strip mine our planet (doubt it- space is full of mud and metal- why fight a gravity well for supplies?)... they want us as slaves (why? They gotta have robots better than us)... or they want to find out if humans really are the biggest nymphos in the universe.


So, for the sake of our species' future reputation as the party capitol of the galaxy. That is what we must do.

Invite them for a nice cup of genma-chai (hoping I have some in my caddy when they show) and show them that not all of us are barbaric morons who kill anything different. If they want sex, they will need to buy me dinner first at the very least.

Patent how to meet an alien. Copyright everything they say. Might as well make some money.

Deny that it is happening.

Crap myself.

Loot the grocery store.

Buy guns.

Accept that I'm either about to become a slave or a meal.

Inadvertently doom the human race by declaring war on a species with superior space travel technology? Seems like a good idea...




 

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