Non Sequitur

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Epic Forum Member Beatdown Thread

Zelkon, being almost ascended, has gained limited immortality. A level 1 creature does not simply defeat a god. Zelkon decides to find a cure for the zombies in his spare time eventually cures everyone, who turn on Attikol for choosing the wrong direction to shuffle.

Unfortunately, in curing the rest of the world, Zelkon had to take on all of the infection himself, something I aided him in. Rather than allowing him to suffer the ravages of becoming undead, I decapitated him, and cremated his remains.

As Steampunkadept cremates Zelkon's remains I give him a shove so he can join Steampunkadept in the furnace.

After Attikol got bored of being digested, he decided to walk it off. He sees Saabre shove Steam into the fire with a burning body. He knows what he must do. He uses a fire extinguisher to put out the fire. He talks to Saabre for a bit about fire safety and then bashes his skull in with the extinguisher crying about how he should have listened to fire safety.

Unfortunately for Attikol, Saabre's skull turns out to be harder than normal, puncturing the fire extinguisher causing a huge explosion enveloping them both.

Steam stands up from the flames and watches as the explosion consumes both Attikol and Saabre. For good measure, Steam opens a black hole to eat the entirety of the explosion, and any matter that might remain of the pair that exploded


You forgot to throw something in. Yourself!

I push Steam into the black hole, after Attikol and Saabre.

I hire Scorpion from the Mortal Kombat universe who performs his famed Spear attack on Kerim saying, "GET OVER HERE!" Kerim is pulled towards Scorpion where Scorpion then performs his FATALITY move on Kerim.

I then pay Scorpion the fee for completing the assignment where I stand over Kerim's body and take all the credit for killing Kerim.

Sadly for you, I paid him more to let me survive, so as you stand over me, I take out a shotgun, aim it at Matty, and pull the trigger,

When going through the black hole, I warp back in time and kill Hitler and Kerim with my newly gained awesome cosmic powers.


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