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Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.


Corrupt A Wish

   
Granted. You just got hit by a nuclear bomb. You have somehow survived this but have gained sucktastic radiation powers. Anyone coming within 1000 meters of you dies horribly. You taint all food you touch and the radiated water tastes like some horrible sprite.

I wish that I could throw icebergs on people.

Granted. You now have to ability to throw an iceberg while standing on top of a person. Unfortunately, you can not life an iceberg up, and no one lets you stand on top of them to attempt the throw anyway.

I wish I always felt rested and refreshed after sleeping.

Granted. But you now have the world's worst case of insomnia ever, and you are completely incapable of ever falling asleep. Ever.

I wish I could sleep in once in a while. You know, not have to get up at 5 AM every damned day.

Granted. But you never, ever feel rested or refreshed after sleeping; in fact, you feel pretty hung over.

I wish healthy food tasted as good as junk food.

Granted. Now junk food tastes awful and life is like one of those awful hidden valley commercials. We all die a little inside from living that type of life and we all secretly hate you for condemning us to this life.

I wish that someone silently condemned me.

Granted. One person condemns you silently because they are now mute. It happens to be your wife/girlfriend/significant other, so they are completely unable to speak to you ever again. The rest of the world is pretty vocal about condemning you for turning your SO mute.

I wish I didn't have so many meetings at work. And this means that I am wishing that I still had my current job, without ever being fired, but don't have to attend so many damned meetings.

Granted. Most of the people you work with are now dead from nuclears. They only hold meeting once a month due to poor attendance from the death thing.

I wish my video would load.

It loads. Two girls, one cup 2: The Big Gulp

I wish I had a friggin' gaming group that could get together more than once a month. As a side bar, I wish my GM didn't feel the need to run 4e.

Granted. They decide to drop D&D and take up SCA heavy stickfighting, and spend the time beating each other up monstrously heavy sticks while you wish you could just go back to playing D&D.

I wish I stopped aging and never died or came to serious physical harm.

Granted. You never age again, but have to go through the pain of watching your loved ones die every 100 years while they constantly question how it is that you never age. You are also forced to tell them why you never age, causing most of them to leave you in the lurch with your immortality. It's quite painful, mentally speaking. You end up bearing your eternal pain by yourself, lonely with your agelessness, afraid to encounter anybody ever again for fear of loving and losing them. Sucks to be immortal, doesn't it?

I wish for world peace.





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