As my old master used to say, "Snatch the pebble from my ... HEY, wait till I say Go.."
As my old master used to say, "Does a one legged duck swim in circles?? Then shut up or I shall nail your other foot to the floor"
As my old master used to say, "If you try and feel for the blow, you will get hit. Open your eyes you IDJEET"

Made me blow milk out of my nose ...

as my old master used to say, 'No two men take a punch quite the same way'
as my old master used to say, 'When in doubt, act like a fool. When in danger, act like a mad man.'

As my old master used to say, "Nothing makes a man such a fool as love or greed--and they're often the same thing."

As my old master used to say, "If you ever need money for an important goal go to a casino. Spend as normally until you have barely enough money left. Now bet on the most unlikely position of all. It will work 9 times out of 10"

as my old master used to say, 'Never punch a man in the testicles, funny is less important at the end of the day than you'd think'
as my old master used to say, 'When presented with two paths, take the left'

As my old master used to say, "Don't ask what's in the sausage. You know you're just going to eat it anyway."

As my old master used to say, "Never let a necromancer tuck you in at night."

As my old master used to say, "If it looks like bacon, smells like bacon, and tastes like bacon, then it's bacon--no matter what random encounter you had an hour ago."

As my old master used to say, "Never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding and you can spend all afternoon explaining that, but no one's going to eat it because you stuck your dick in it."

As my old master used to say, "If you see a pool of water in a dungeon; do not drink it. It is either cursed or an ooze. Probably both"

as my old master used to say, 'Don't treat women like objects, objects like women, or sleep with goats.'
as my old master used to say, 'Never get involved with wars, they are unprofitable for the pocket, the soul, and the body'
as my old master used to say, 'When you find your back against a wall, hit them with the wall'
as my old master used to say, 'Alcohol is like god, those with the most direct influence from it can do the most harm'
as my old master used to say, 'You may find that you cannot always win, so when you lose, lose spectacularly'