Granted. Metta World Peace has dinner with you.

I wish I could make character with class JACK(all classes in one)(penalties are fine).

Granted. You roll a bard. He's a jack of all trades, the penalty is that he's terrible at all of them.

I wish tier 1 and 2 classes were rebalanced to be on par with the tier 3 classes.

Actually Hobbits are Halflings they even say as much in the Lord of the Rings.

Granted. Tier 1 and 2 is on par with 3, but 3 got rebalanced to be on par with 5. You don't want to know what happened with five.

I wish you guys a merry christmas (yes, it's a bit early, so what?)

Granted. Unfortunately, Christmas becomes illegal, with the only holiday allowed to be celebrated being Kwanzaa. You are responsible for everyone here being arrested and put to death for violating the ban on Christmas. Thanks.

I wish the movie "Demolition Man" was real and that I was John Spartan.

Granted. Your cryocapsule was malfunctioning and you never rise from cold.

I wish I had ten bucks in cash everytime I read a joke on 9gag.(no matter how lame it is)(but no more than 200 bucks a day)

Granted! You now go on nine gag everyday to get your money. The constant horror of that site slowly drives you mad and you go on a killing spree with your money taped together in the shape of a penis.

I wish a wish that involved a fish......getting laid.

Dude...PG-13 rating here.

Granted. A fish gets laid (set down) on a table.

I wish people actually followed the rules.

Granted. People follow my rules; it's against my rules for you to get your wish.

I wish for three more wishes just to irritate [people that get irritable when people wish for three more wishes].

Granted, but, as stated in a previous wish, you can only use those wishes to wish for more wishes, thereby simply annoying yourself.

I wish I didn't have to make a wish.