1001 things I'm not allowed to do. - Page 19 - OG Myth-Weavers

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1001 things I'm not allowed to do.

   
520) I'm not allowed to do "Called Shot - Genitals" or any variation of that.
521) I'm not allowed to have my familiar/animal companion walk up to the enemy and urinate on them.

522.) I am not allowed to trick my friends into playing D&D, even if it is a new addition by claiming I just found a new game.
523.) I am not allowed to play on the computer during a D&D session.
524.) Even on myth-weavers.com
525.) Even if my character sheet is on myth-weavers.com
526.) I am not aloud to play D&D in the theatre I rented for the hobbit.
527.) Even though D&D isn't gambling, I am not allowed to play it in restaurants in the state of Washington. Because it "is gambling"
528.) I am not allowed to tell the waitress after she informs me of this, that I'll not be tipping her.
529.) If I elect to break rule 527, I am not permitted to place two dollars in pennies in a glass of water, upside down on the table.
530.) About rule 529... I am not permitted to do anything that gets the party banned from a late night restaurant.

*hopes no one sees me making changes to notes while Dr. Who discussion is happening*

530) As a DM, I'm not allowed to get caught determining the monster's roll modifiers only after I've seen how the dice fall.

Nooooooooo! We're more than halfway to cookies!!! We collectively have to be worse than this!

531) I am not allowed to make a character who is specifically designed to kill every other player in the party.

532) As a DM I am not allowed to make a mission that takes an entire two hours just to get into the dungeon.
533) I am also not allowed to blame that length of time on the party's incessant talking
534) Speaking for the party: I am not allowed to roll higher than a 5 on any strength checks that help solve the puzzle
535) I am also not allowed to introduce a returning villain (Who is a high level assassin) by placing him on top of a tower and giving him a crossbow and a vat full of poison.
536) When the players arrive to the top of said tower I am not allowed to spill the vat of poison at them as they open the trap door.
537) I am furthermore not allowed to let this character live by having him jump off the tower, use his ring of feather falling, and on the way down drink a potion of invisibility and then disappear into the obscuring mist that the party created earlier as cover from the previous attack.

538: I am not allowed to use anything with a level adjustment higher then 2.

539: I am no longer allowed to successfully convince myself that I am the avatar of a god simply because my Bluff has a +14 modifier and my Sense Motive is -4.





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