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World of Farland

A world conquered by evil and ruled by the Lords of Sin; A unique campaign setting designed to be used with all editions of D&D.


Funny

   

heres one from a game I read about in an NWN Dumbest Player forum thread...

A character had made a rouge and had aquired a wand of fireballs with like 20 charges, which use magic device let him use. As they were searching for a princess help prisoner at the castle, they came across a row of ten doors.

Thief: "I go up to each door and detect traps."
DM: "you find no traps, and the doors are unlocked."
Thief:"Okay I go to door # 1, open it, use my fireball wand, close it as fast as possible."
DM: "As you shut the door you hear some sizzling, inside the room you find 3 dead rats"
Thief: "Door #2, open, fireball, close"
DM: "blah blah blah"
Thief: "Door #3, open, fireball, close"
DM: "blah blah blah"
Thief: "Door #4, open, fireball, close"
DM: "blah blah blah"
Thief: "Door #5, open, fireball, close"
DM: "blah blah blah"
Thief: "Door #6, open, fireball, close"
DM: "blah blah blah"
Thief: "Door #7, open, fireball, close"
DM: "blah blah blah"
Thief: "Door #8, open, close, fireball"
Thief: "No wait, I mean..."
DM: "You are suddenly hit by a wall of fire at close range, the nearby party is also hit"
DM: rolls dice
Party: all dies
Thief: rolls reflex save, fails cause its a spell cast as if from a level 15 wizard, and he is like level 3.
DM: "You take" rolls "42 damage"
Thief: "But I only have 14 hp"
DM: "too bad you didnt halve the damage with that reflex save..."

Also what WOULD have been funny but didnt actually happen...

Thief: "Open door, fireball, close door"
Thief: "I open the door and look inside"
DM: "You see 4 humanoid figures, 3 are on the ground, and one is in an incinerated chair, you spot a melted tiara on the head of the princess."


heres one from a game I read about in an NWN Dumbest Player forum thread...

A character had made a rouge and had aquired a wand of fireballs with like 20 charges, which use magic device let him use. As they were searching for a princess help prisoner at the castle, they came across a row of ten doors.

Thief: "I go up to each door and detect traps."
DM: "you find no traps, and the doors are unlocked."
Thief:"Okay I go to door # 1, open it, use my fireball wand, close it as fast as possible."
DM: "As you shut the door you hear some sizzling, inside the room you find 3 dead rats"
Thief: "Door #2, open, fireball, close"
DM: "blah blah blah"
Thief: "Door #3, open, fireball, close"
DM: "blah blah blah"
Thief: "Door #4, open, fireball, close"
DM: "blah blah blah"
Thief: "Door #5, open, fireball, close"
DM: "blah blah blah"
Thief: "Door #6, open, fireball, close"
DM: "blah blah blah"
Thief: "Door #7, open, fireball, close"
DM: "blah blah blah"
Thief: "Door #8, open, close, fireball"
Thief: "No wait, I mean..."
DM: "You are suddenly hit by a wall of fire at close range, the nearby party is also hit"
DM: rolls dice
Party: all dies
Thief: rolls reflex save, fails cause its a spell cast as if from a level 15 wizard, and he is like level 3.
DM: "You take" rolls "42 damage"
Thief: "But I only have 14 hp"
DM: "too bad you didnt halve the damage with that reflex save..."

Also what WOULD have been funny but didnt actually happen...

Thief: "Open door, fireball, close door"
Thief: "I open the door and look inside"
DM: "You see 4 humanoid figures, 3 are on the ground, and one is in an incinerated chair, you spot a melted tiara on the head of the princess."


thats almost as bad as:

DM: ok guys you have him straped to the table ready for interrogation.
Wilhelm: (low int dwarf) ok i chop his legs off!
DM: you what!
Wilhelm: I chop his legs off
DM: but....but....why
Wilhelm: it will deter him from lying!


thats almost as bad as:

DM: ok guys you have him straped to the table ready for interrogation.
Wilhelm: (low int dwarf) ok i chop his legs off!
DM: you what!
Wilhelm: I chop his legs off
DM: but....but....why
Wilhelm: it will deter him from lying!


One game in real lfie I was DMing, my one friend (he has a habit of saying random crazy things) played an illusionist:

Me: You see a tavern
Him: Is it an illuuuusionary tavern?
Me: No. Its a real tavern.
Him: I'm going to cast an illusion on the tavern!
Me: What?
Him: Fine, I go inside the tavern. Can I order an illuuuusionary beer?
Me: No! You can't!
Him: awwww... in that case, I'm going to jog in place.
Me: I... wow. Just wow. Why are you jogging in place?
Him: I'm creating the illusion of running!


I have henceforth banned him from ever playing an illusionist again. Ever.


One game in real lfie I was DMing, my one friend (he has a habit of saying random crazy things) played an illusionist:

Me: You see a tavern
Him: Is it an illuuuusionary tavern?
Me: No. Its a real tavern.
Him: I'm going to cast an illusion on the tavern!
Me: What?
Him: Fine, I go inside the tavern. Can I order an illuuuusionary beer?
Me: No! You can't!
Him: awwww... in that case, I'm going to jog in place.
Me: I... wow. Just wow. Why are you jogging in place?
Him: I'm creating the illusion of running!


I have henceforth banned him from ever playing an illusionist again. Ever.




 

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