Azhmodai, to be clear, I didn't approve of the fact that other people were impolite. Nor did I think their method of explaining it to Aminstar was appropriate. I was instead trying to explain the justification behind the act. I don't condemn what he did because I believe he didn't mean to be rude. Instead, I simply meant to explain what I've found to be best in my own personal experience.
My problem came with the 'don't you let 'em get ya' sort of responses it was generating. It's not a battle of 'us vs them', and it doesn't need to be viewed as such. I'm trying to show that 'it's not about you, it's about them' and that a simple understanding often makes it easier to mend fences with our world community.
And to be honest, Azhmodai, it's not religion that's always being used as the bludgeon. I could regale you with numerous stories of atheists openly mocking my own personal religious beliefs, especially at the dinner table. We are instead talking about intolerance versus tolerance. Anyone who decides to be so rude can do so. Religion has been the tool in many nations, especially those that MW is popular in. But I assure you that state forced atheism is/was quite a common discussion around Chinese, Cuban, former USSR, and East German tables for I can introduce you to the Jews, Christians, and Muslims that went through it. Therefore, it is NOT linked solely to religion, and thus, qualms with religious issues target the anecdote, not the problem. Your personal issues with this, while valid, are not really hitting the true issue.
Re: selflessness to the outsider. Because I made the assumption that the 'outsider' is the guest. It's common operating procedure for the guest to honor the host. One does not enforce the rules on another's turf. I would not journey to Israel, dine in an orthodox Jew's house, and demand to be served pork. It may be 'my right' to eat such a meal, and I may have many reasons for doing it that are not wrong, but it is in very poor taste to do so. In the end, I ruin a relationship with a friend to grab a meal I could have easily gone without.
Re: Tyranny of the majority. No, instead, I'm arguing that it is rude for the outsider to enforce tyranny of the minority upon others. We live in a world where a community of 10,000 people can be forced to take down a manger scene because 5 people complained about it, and where fear, anger, and insecurity take the place of manners, education, tolerance, and understanding.
We're also not talking about coerced participation, because closing one's eyes is by no means a form of participation. As I said before, you can think about the Giants/Eagles game for all I care, and many folks do. It's the expression, the motions, the idea that you care about those you are with enough to respect them that matters, here. Coerced participating would actually force the atheist to pray aloud; that's a horse of a different color. Participation is what goes on within your heart and mind; no one can force that upon you. I don't see how one is 'bowing to God' by closing one's eyes to be nice to his/her friends.
Essentially, I say this. What is gained by outright refusal? What is lost? To me, I see a moral victory of two seconds versus a broken relationship. There's no need for the former at the expense of the latter. Part of life is learning that others disagree with you and finding a way to love them all the same, working with those that you can, and fighting those only when their own stubborn qualities force no other option.
Let not your victories be Pyrrhic.