Granted, although it restarts on Dec.22 2012 and the world has already ended.

I wish that I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich made by Gordon Ramsay!

Granted, it has multiple expleatives writen across it and while eating it you feel angry towards everyone.

I wish there was no school, that we were born with the info needed to prosper in the big 'scary' world.

Granted. You are born with the ability to learn by observing and interacting with your environment. You still suffer from a crippling lack of motivation.

I wish I didn't suffer from a crippling lack of motivation.

Granted. You still have a crippling lack of motivation, but you don't suffer from it; you revel in it. You are now quite proud to be lazy.

I wish for immunity to all diseases.

Granted. You are promptly killed in a hit-and-run accident.

I wish I were better at the PC game "Evil Genius".

Granted, But you become so statically charged that merely being in the same room as electronic equipment causes------*blip*

"Hey get out Danny!"

I wish Danny now didn't have a mental picture of me sans pants.

Granted, although he now has an actual picture of you sans pants, and it's circulating the internet.

I wish that my laptop's battery never died, just kept on at 100%

Granted; but this miracle of technology is needed for the greater good so it is taken by the federal government for research and replaced by a battery pack that doesn't fit.


I wish I was a chick magnet

Granted, you attract literal tonnes of chicks.

I wish I had a boat.

Granted, you have a boat. A really cool one. But it's buried somewhere in the Sahara, good luck with that.

I wish the apple I'm holding would turn into a flawless diamond.