Granted, but then all the games actually die, leaving only threads like this, that while entertaining in the moment are somehow not as fulfilling as vicarious heroism and such.

I wish I could post to PbP while I'm at work like other people can, but Big Brother is always watching, and then there's those crazy kids who expect to be taught all the time ....

Granted. But not on this site. And you've been banned from the site it actually is on.

And for Isa: Granted. But only because you've been demoted to assistant secretary and don't actually do, or get paid, anything worth mentioning.

I wish the chick playing the violin would stop staring at my date. She's not his type.

But he's so cute and fuzzy ....

~sulk~

Granted. I'll just slip him my phone number.

I wish I could borrow Mordae's kindergartener. She could grade these papers ... I think she's smarter than the students whose papers I'm grading at the moment.

Granted. But the only things she can do for more than 5 minutes straight are draw pictures or watch movies, so you're SOL on the grading unless you don't need it until next year. On the other hand, she can make a masterpiece out of each one for you...

I wish Demi Moore's body double would slip ME her phone number...

Granted. But you're not married, so conjugal visits aren't allowed.

I wish for better running gags.

Oh. Sure. (480) 6 ... oh. Wait. ~looks down at self~

Heh. Not me. I forgot.

Hang on ...

...

Got it.

Granted. Except she's in jail for murder, remember, so the way you get her phone number is while you are doing community service -- and your date has to be postponed pending conjugal visit approval.

I wish I could snuggle the puppy I just saw on TV and smell his puppy breath. I love puppy breath.

Granted. This one REALLY could use a tic-tac, though, because he makes Shrek's breath smell like roses.

I wish I didn't have to go to sleep.

Granted. You have now been zombified.

And you thought the puppy's breath smelled bad.



I wish to be able to psychically compel nearby animals to kill my enemies.

Granted. Though they return sleeping on your porch once the deed is done, leaving no doubt on who is the beastmaster.

I wish I could read by osmosis.

granted, but it deposits all teh ink from the book on your hands leaving blank pages and yourself a mess. Don't even think of trying it with electronic media unless you enjoy electrocution.

I wish M theory were fact and I could alter the resonance pattern and frequency of 2 dimentional membranes within 11 dimentional space.