Granted. After seeing how awesome I'm actually is, the sun turn green of jealousy.

I wish I was that awesome.

Granted. But then the radiation from the green sun ends up cooking the Earth, with you still on it.

I wish politicians cared more about serving their country's best interests and less about getting reelected.

Granted. But despite caring, said politicians are STILL incompetent tools and never actually do what's in the country's best interests. Only now it's because they're not smart enough to actually know what's in the best interests. Only now things are even worse since instead of greedy bastards fighting over who gets the biggest piece of the pie. You have fanatical true believers. The second american civil war starts within weeks. Europe follows suit. Most of the rest of the world is unaffected since their leaders don't actually have to worry about elections.

I wish for a better job.

Granted. You are now manager but the company goes under because the CEO embezzled all the money.

I wish to be legally and independently wealthy until the age of 1000

Granted. You get all of the world's money which causes two things. 1- your death of a heart attack due to shock. 2- world economic collapse.

A millenia later, after civilization rebuilds itself and finally finds and loots your tomb, you are remembered as the prime reason to avoid such disastrous financial systems as existed "back then".

I wish for a good book to read.

granted, but it is one you have already read.

I wish we still celebrated the Saturnalia in the style of the Romans.

Granted. But that was up until 1977. At which point *everyone* died of AIDS.

I wish video game designers would actually translate the good games into a language I understood. Or that the ones designed in english didn't suck. I'll take either.

Granted, but these proper translations are so cost intensive that it's calculated into a much higher video game price. Since less people are willing to shell out the money for these games, less high quality games are produced and the video game market collapses.

I wish I could stop procastinating.

granted, tomorrow

I wish all STDs would vanish.

Granted. Unfortunately, life is an STD.

I wish there were more STDs. Ones with funny names and hilarious symptoms like the ones made up on TV.