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Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.


Corrupt A Wish

   
Granted. But I may have peed in it a little.

I wish to control an army of bears.

Granted, but you can only command them to attack you.

I wish TanaNari was incapable of urinating.

To the face. It's key lime. You can't taste it.

I wish that the statement of my wish will never be complete.

Granted; you die halfway through "Comple-".

I wish the United States had a competent Congress.

Granted. However. They are all STILL selfish, backstabbing lying bastards who line their pockets with private interest money and pander to exactly whatever they have to do to get elected again. So, ultimately, the only difference is that fewer of them actually get caught for crimes.


I wish that once per hour, every time the sun rises (from the perspective of the average sunrise point in each timezone) the ten human beings alive that have done the most overall harm to other humans in said timezone would die. Unless there is no one left who has actually done more harm than good for the human race, in which case, it will save up remaining "kill" counts and use it in the next time zone.

Granted, but the next time the sun rises on you, you die due to the fact that you enabled the continual mass murder of humans. The karmic balance decides that your death was enough, and the cycle ends.

I wish I had a pie that was not defiled, nor made of any disgusting material, and that I could eat it without any repercussions and enjoy the flavor of it. And my digestive tract remains functional.

Granted. That pie is the last good meal you ever have, and after eating it, you wander in an agony of hunger, desperately wishing for even mediocre food. You live a full, long life.

I wish for instant karmic balance for those who are in power.

Granted. Pretty much everything dies.

You made HUGE mistakes in the phrasing of your wish.

See. First of all. "Karma" is a force that occurs after death and determines your point next in the reincarnation cycles. So every target, regardless of their good or evil natures, instantly die. Some are born as worms or cockroaches or tapeworms. Some are born as ordinary human babies.

Second. The phrase "in power"? Far FAR too vague. See, having control over when you release your own bowels is a level of power. Not much, mind you. But enough.

Third. The word "those" as a noun in this case. You failed to narrow down even species.

So... uh... you killed everything in the universe with any ability to react to environmental stimuli more advanced than a venus fly trap. Including energy beings and any computer capable of processing a random number generator. Nice going, hero.


Since shutting down the cycle of sunrise deaths was NOT an option in my wish. And that's clearly a misuse of the word karma. My wish has not been corrupted within legal parameters. So someone else needs a shot at it now.

World leaders (political, scientific, economic, and even spiritual) die on a nearly-daily basis. Without strong leaders to maintain the balance of power, the world devolves into a chaotic scramble as leaders of less and less power die with each sunrise. In a few short years, the world closely resembles a post-apocalyptic stone age, and anyone who attempts to raise humanity out of the hole you put it in dies with the sunrise. Of course, you don't live to see that.

And to be fair, you also misunderstood what karma is. Karma is the chain of cause and effect, the notion that you reap what you sow. "Bad Karma" are seeds of misfortune, that will (eventually) give you unfortunate consequences. The notion that karma sticks with you after you die, and influences where you go next, is only tangentially related. Feel free to try again

My wish did not at any point specify "world leaders". I specified that anyone that caused (the worst) harm to humanity. Plus... uh... 240 people a day... spread across the entire planet... is no threat to population growth. Much less civilization.

Also: Karma. Official definition is the first one. It's the religious one. The origin name. So, death.


And now, wishing for the THIRD time, maybe someone will corrupt the wish within the parameters of the wish the way the game's suppose to be played.





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