Granted. Someone swats you with a bag of peas that they had been spinning above their head. It is, as you might imagine, quite uncomfortable.


I wish for better puns.

Granted, You now have angry PunPuns

I wish for better endowments

Granted. They're better for the one giving the endowment, as they are now super useless.

I wish I could find a funny Star Wars avatar that would work on this site.

Granted. It involves Yoda. Princess Leia. Several Ewoks. And gets you perma-banned from the site within five minutes.


I wish for any and everyone who tells an untruth on television or any other mass or social media (as defined by them deliberately trying to deceive the audience) to spontaneously combust.

Granted. Everyone who has ever played a game on Mythweavers bursts into flame and dies, since roleplay is a form of deception.

I wish for a three day weekend.

Granted. You get April 19th, august 26th and December 12. Unfortunately, you have to work the other 363 without a break. You fall over from exhaustion

I wish dogs could talk.

Granted. The dogs will not stop talking about your non-existent life: how you never won the lottery, how you never got the girl/boy, how you never beat that guy in the spelling bee....

I wish I had some candy.

You had some Candy, she's pressing charges.

I wish I had a better job

Granted! You are now chief dung cleaner! (I just assume your former job was regular dung cleaner)

I wish that I was allowed to play Guild Wars 2 again...

Granted, but only until this post is completed.

I wish I was the godfather.