Granted! Sadly, it's someone you hate, and it ruins the game so hard that you don't want to play it anymore.

I wish MadHatter would come back online so he could read the PM I sent him.

Granted. But then they get pissed off and quit when they find out they can't actually play a necromancer.

(Was ninja'd by Kerim)... updating...

Granted. But he hates them and puts you on ignore.

(And since I'll never get another chance for this to be "appropriate")... I wish to fork someone.

Granted! Forking, which is basically spooning, but with two men, both of which having erections, becomes a huge hit, and you become famous for inventing it.

I wish for a flying fish.

Granted. Piranhas develop wings and oxygen-breathing lungs, and are now able to cover great distances. They completely decimate all herding animals in South America, and start to become a major problem in the US much like Africanized bees.

I wish that Africanized bees would leave North America and go to Australia.

Granted. As a counter-attack against this form of biological warfare, australia releases thousands of pound of toxic fumes into major cities in America.

I wish for an answer to the Hatter's riddle. (When is a raven like a writing desk?)

Granted. When Poe writes on both of them.

I wish hanging, taping, and mudding drywall wasn't so difficult to make look good.

Granted. Now everyone can do it, and contractors are no longer needed. You have caused the collapse of construction work, and you can no longer afford to live anywhere as your wish has put you and thousands of drywallers out of work.

I wish someone else would pay off my mortgage, while I get to live in and keep my house, and I don't have to pay off anybody else's debts.

... The internet leads me to believe that everything in the universe that might possibly remotely resemble homosexuality has already been well documented, so I doubt I invented anything... TOTALLY willing to take credit, though.


Granted. Your house is completely and utterly destroyed by fire, destroying all your belongings. The insurance is enough to pay off the mortgage. And you can still live in the burnt out husk. The cost to REBUILD the house is, however, significantly higher than the insurance covered.


I wish for the moon to get knocked out of orbit somehow and collide with the earth sometime this week.

Granted! Sadly for you, happier for us, it collided with your mom, and bounced back. (If you are insulted by *your mom* replace with appropriate person)

I wish to be the best at everything.

Granted. You now sing a particular south korean song better than anyone else on earth. You have no idea what you're singing about at all. But you're amazing at it.


I wish to thank wikipedia for helping me corrupt that wish. And by "helping" I mean "doing all the research so that I didn't have to".