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Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.


Corrupt A Wish

   
Granted. But it's private, and only visible by him.

I wish there would be no more war, ever.

Granted. there is no more war and never will be, for the last war terminated the human race.

I wish I could afford the new Porsche 911

Granted. The band "War" is forever nevermore.

Edit: Damn ninjas!

Granted. You can afford the new Porsche 911, but as soon as you get the money they jack the price 200%.

I wish Edgar Allen Poe would come back from the dead and write more novels and poems.

Granted. Two words - Zombie Apocalypse. And being intelligent zombie, he actually succeeds.

I wish I got new headphones.

Granted. You get new headphones. However, there are two problems. The first is that there is only one volume setting and that is extremely loud, which is loud enough to turn your brain to mush. The second is that the headphones have a mind of their own and only ever play what they want to play, which may be different from what you want to listen to.

I wish election campaigns were always just run only on the issues and policies without negative advertising of the opposition or using sound bites rather than actually explaining things so that everyone who can vote is only ever presented with the objective facts to make informed decisions.

Granted. Its exactly as you wish, but because the majority of America is filled with halfwits, dirtbags, and people who either generally don't give a shit or are too self-centered or plan stupid to properly understand everything going on, they elect a weak and stupid leader, who plunders our economy, destroys the security of the nation, and gets us invaded by China, who rapes and plunders the nation. Great job dude. You just got us all killed by putting power back in the peoples hands.

I wish the American majority wasn't so damn stupid.

Granted. All the stupid people in America die leaving only the smart pople who are now the majority of Americans. However, due to the extreme decline in population there aren't enough people to maintain the American economy as it currently stands. America declines and the smart people of America move abroad seeiing no point staying in America any longer. America becomes nothing more than a desolate unpopulated wasteland and America is no more. This creates a power vacuum on the world stage leading to an all out world war that completely destroys humanity along with much of the Earth.

I wish all wars and conflicts could be settled without violence or bloodshed.

Granted. All wars and conflicts are now settled with money. And as we all know, America loses as we are in debt 15 trillion dollars, most of that to the Chinese. They now own America, and we all fall under communism. Which, by the way, takes a major upswing in world government, and we are all now oppressed into submission. All because of you.

I wish America didn't have a national deficit.

Granted. America declares bankruptcy, has ten years of economic collapse worse than the Great Depression, and amends the constitution to say that the US isn't allowed to go into debt. In the meantime, you died, cold, hungry, and alone.

I wish for a power plant that operated off of unicorn farts and rainbows, and a herd of unicorns with which to power it.

Granted. Scientists have finally uncovered such a design for a powerplant. After a year of reconstruction, all power plants were revised to these specifications. However, we're all without power now, due to the scientists and electricians failing to take into account the fact that unicorns don't exist. Thanks a lot.

I wish people would actually read the damn menus at restaurants instead of asking me what's on the enchilada plate when I take their order.





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