Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.


Corrupt A Wish

   
Granted, the term HIV no longer exists, the condition was never diagnosed and treatments for such conditions were never created meaning many more people end up dying from a condition that has yet to be medically identified and diagnosed.

I wish to eradicate greed.

That's really a non-granting: there is a difference between never existed and was never discovered and named. Seriously, you couldn't come up with civilization collpse through overpopulation or anything besides nullification?

Granted. greed is eliminated, as well as ambition. People no longer strive to improve their lives and civilization goes into a long downward spiral of atrophy as ever slightly lower standards of living become the new acceptable norm.

I wish someone would actually grant my previous wish, without nullification.

Granted, HIV has never existed. However, due to a series of contingent events two Nigerians that were never supposed to have survived reproduce, bearing a child that will in time become an evil military genius that unites the globe under his opressive rule.

I wish I had an infinite supply of pistachio ice cream.

granted. Unfortunately the gravitational feild generated by an infinite quantity of pistachio ice cream colapses into a singularity, taking you along with it, and you find yourself in a pistachio black hole.
Which also melted due to the high temperatures generated by gravitational forces.

I wish the Tea Party and the Occupy movements were closed off together in a giant cage match.

Granted, but they break out at start a Spartacus like resistance against the U.S..... with nukes.

I wish my feet stopped being so cold.

Granted. You have now been dipped in barely-below-boiling (meaning your nerves survive almost twice as long as they do if it's actually boiling) water. Feet first.


I wish to own, and detonate, a half pound of antimatter.

Granted, Al Gore comes into office in 2016 in a landslide election and gets every piece of environmental legislation passed he asks for. now it is almost impossible not to be green.

I wish baby diapers were self changing.

That's fine by me. Used in alaska, it'll take out all of canada, most of the USA and Russia, boil the entire arctic circle, and blast a good portion of the atmosphere into space. If I'm near a good fault line, it might even crack open the crust of the planet like a grape.

Granted. Unfortunately, they don't clean the baby in the process. Nor do they ball themselves up. Nor do they throw themselves in the trash. Also, due to weight distribution, they have a better than average chance of falling inside-down when they come off. And god help you if you have pet dogs.

I wish for a creature so horrifying that any possible corruption of it will only make things better.

Granted, and it is known only to you. you are unable to communicate what it is, but nightmares of the image will burn your retinas for the rest of your life and haunt your dreams.

I wish for 500 green M & Ms.





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