Granted: Something happens that inspires awe. No-one is quite sure what it is, and cross-referencing shows that no-one saw quite the same thing, but it is generally agreed that the event, whatever it was, is awesome.

I wish that all beings be magically bound to speak no phrase that they consider to be false.

Granted. Now. Only the true sociopaths, the ones who can make themselves believe their own lies, can lie. This sparks an evolutionary chain of events that eliminates the ordinary gene pool and renders us all sociopaths.

I wish for toenails to suddenly come alive, sprout teeth and claws, break off of their respective toes. And then start killing people.

Granted, but as toenails are dead skin cells they all soon die off, and your left bleeding to death, from your toes.

I wish I had exactly the amount of blood in order to sustain myself, no matter how badly I'm bleeding.

Granted. But you quickly drown in your everflowing fountain of wounds.

I wish harmful organisms would not develop antibiotic resistance.

@ Mordae
Woot, so I basically drowned the world in my blood because I live on a mountain... woo!

Granted, your body has began to treat antibiotics as a foreign substance however so you still get insanely sick.

I wish that my evil twin would stop playing with my hair, it's creepy to have my evil twin's weakness be, playing with my hair. <.<

Granted; neither of you have any hair now.

I wish I had an iPhone 5.

Granted, it does not come with batteries. And if you try to put any in it shockes you, killing you instantly.

I wish i had a compleatly neutral genie that answers my every wish.

Granted. Every time you make a wish, it answers. It answers by saying "nope, can't do that", but it DOES answer.

I wish for the second coming of Jesus... and then for it to turn out he's buddhist.

tananari, dude your good at this.
Granted, jesus comes back and admits hes budhist starting a war between cathlics, christians and budhists.
It ends with jesus being killed by one of every religon. It becomes a documentary that puzzles many.

I wish dragons existed and i owned one.

Granted, you own one of these

I wish I would remember to remove the windows key on my keyboard, I hate accidentally opening the start menu when I type.