That's ok. Still saves me well over 20 bucks on heating expenses.

Granted. He got a new pet. It's made of rabies. It doesn't just HAVE rabies. It is actually composed entirely of an interlinking colony of Lyssavirus Rabies that somehow functionally imitate an adorable kitten.

I wish for immunity to rabies. 'Cause that strain is going to wipe out anything on this planet that isn't.

Granted. You are now the star of an alternate version of I Am Legend, and may choose your preferred ending.

I wish my desk was actually on fire, as stated a few pages back.

granted, it is on fire and that kills you slowly because it is a special 'torture' fire recently created by me! *cackles evily then looks around suspiciously*
i wish my fire thing actualy works

Granted, but only on you.

I wish for 3.

Granted, but then a collectin of bears, pigs, musketeers, rodents, and stooges beat you into a coma and take their number back.

I wish to be dating a girl who looks just like Helen of Troy (as an early/mid 20 year old). Not that anyone knows what she looks like. But if she can start a war, she must be a babe. A greek babe at that.

Granted, Sparta is now invading your house.

I wish I was a member of the Spartan Army invading TanaNari's house.

Granted. But turns out, the police take a really dim view on ancient battle reenactors running amock without a permit on the property of someone who *really doesn't want them on his property*.

Turns out, bronze swords aren't much of a match for tasers, pepper spray and handguns.


I wish for a moat and portculis to fend off the crazy people 'till the police show up.

Granted, but the crazy people can phase through modern day security equipment.

I wish I could phase through objects that I can turn on and off at will.

Granted. You can now phase through objects that you can turn on and off at will. Televisions and lamps are no problem, but walls remain stubbornly solid. This is quite a predicament, since you now occupy a cell in a research lab where scientists experiment on you.

I wish my pets weren't all dead, insane, or catatonic.

Granted, they are now undead.

I wish I could sleep longer than 4 hours but less than 8.