That only happens in Indiana Jones. Stop being so dramatic.

I decide that death can't be as bad as having to deal with the incessant whining of two young children every morning and evening. The method of my death still puzzles the local coroners, so they can't rule it a suicide.

Nor can the really rule it a death, as you used a romeo and juliet-like poison, making you appear dead for a couple days after which you wake up.

I reenacted Romeo And Juliet, using a real dagger, and really stabbing myself.

Unfortunately you forgot that just before that reenactment you were involved in a battle reenactment and had forgotten to remove your armour. When you stab yourself you fail to penetrate the armour and you have just discovered the reason why you weren't bleeding and why you felt no pain while stabbing yourself.

I was involved in the battle reenactment from earlier where an arrow pierced my heart. I was taken to the medical facilities but the doctor was drunk and ended up removing my heart instead. He then attempted to patch up my wound but without my heart I ended up dying.

The artificial heart they replaced it with is just the start of turning you into a cyborg--no longer truly alive, but very definitely not dead.

I reach enlightenment and become one with the universe, leaving my mortal shell far behind.

Yes, you've reached enlightenment and become one with the universe but you're not actually dead.

I create a suicide booth like in Futurama, I step inside the booth, pay my money and the machine kills me.

Except you spent all your money creating the machine and cannot afford the cost to use it.


I hap upon a quantum instability and approximately half of my atoms convert to antimatter. The annihilated remnants of mass that once constituted my body, as well as a notable portion of the planet, gets sent traveling into the universe at relativistic speeds.

And comes out fine and intact on the other side of the universe. Geography and astronomy textbooks do need to be altered.

I choke on a Double Stuff Oreo.

Heimlich manouvre. Simple.

I got turned into a Double Stuff Oreo

You were stale, so no one ate you

I plunged into the 9th layer of Hell, and faced the king of all hell's himself. He was in a very, very bad mood because all of his plans have failed. He is on a murderous rampage, and I am the only thing that resembles life for 6 layers of Hell.

He kills all those frikken undead around you. Damn those undead.

Three words: Richard did fwoosh.