Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.


Dead Alive Dead Alive game.

   
There is a mix up and your body becomes incredibly healthy and regenerative. You are no immortal however your soul is now a withered husk and all you can bring yourself to do is act in M Night Shamalan movies which match how you now feel.

I drink hot tea and choke to death.

You are rescued by an epileptic squirrel falling into your lap, effectively giving you a Heimlich maneuver and saving your life.

I am killed and eaten by squirrels with exploding acorn artillery. Despite popular mythology, most of them are not in fact suffering from epilepsy.

Once the squirrels eat you, your consciousness takes control of the minds of the squirrels. You are alive and you exist as a collective consciousness residing in the bodies of many squirrels. Trying to integrate yourself back in to human society and continuing on with your old life becomes a bit problematic though.

I hack in to all the military computers in the world and am able to launch all nuclear warheads aimed directly at my home. I make sure I am at home when the nukes hit. I die along with many people as a result of the explosions.

However, you forgot to disable all the anti-nuclear warheads defence satellites. So instead of dying, you and the rest of the world enjoy the most expensive fireworks show in the history of mankind.

I Snakeman, get really depressed after being unable to defeat crime and decided to stab myself in the neck with a narwhal's horn (which is Snakeman's only mortal weakness) which results in a horrible gruesome death.

Sadly, you forgot about your body armour. The narwhals horn was unable to pierce it, and broke.

Snakeman killed me to take my horn.

Dr Olivia Tidal, oceanographer, peace activist and all round cybernetic genius manages to give you the breath of life and reinserts a new cybernetic 2000 narwhale horn ... which not only allows her to track your location and helping her in her research into whales, but also helps you "pull" all the narwhale chicks you would like ... sexy

I cast resurrection on my party member, not realising that they were in fact Asmodeus in disguise and he smites me dead, feeding my body to the numerous demons he summons with his wakening ...

Luckily there was one cell of your body left, which your party uses to ressurect you.

I got dropped into a pool of acid. (No, my name is not Aeofel.)

While you get HIGH and have hallucinations beyond belief, it's not the kind of Acid you were hoping for.

I free fall from 24 miles above the Earth, without a parachute or any other device that can stop my descent, nor am I dreaming or imagining things, hurtling until I break the sound barrier, and then smashing at full speed into a granite quarry.

Unfortunately, you don't break any records, as someone already survived a 64-mile drop earlier in the thread. Still, during your lengthy hospital recuperation you get plenty of media attention.

I am eaten by a grue. (This HAS to have been done before, right?...right?)

Grue wasn't that hungry, and only ate your left pinky

I'm front row center when the sun finally collapses in on itself, then violently explodes in a Super Nova, killing me instantly.





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