That was currently being storedupside down. While you do manage to shatter most of your lower body, you survive.

I fly using wings made of wax and bird feathers. And am prompty sucked into the turbine of a passenger jet.

As prooved by Jar Jar Bing, the turbine has no ill effect on you, it simply destroy your wings. You fall in the sea, and find yourself back in Crete. Where's the beef now, hmm???

I'm teleported to the surface of Venus, where I'm simultaneously crushed by the incredibly high pressure, roasted to death by the high temperature and burned by the sulfuric acid atmosphere.

except science was way off the mark on venus, not only does it turn out to be habitable but its -better- then earth , in fact for some reason on venus you dont even age.



I spontanously combust

Luckily for you, a dozen people with fire extinguishers are on hand, and you're put out instantly. You have burns all over, but with a few skin grafts, you'll be fine.

I open tvtropes, and promptly forget to eat for a week.

Good thing you've been in the hospital hooked up to an IV.


I drown in a pool of my own drool.

You're drooling so much because of the novacaine the dentist gave you, fearing a malpractice suit he makes sure you don't drown.

I piss off a grizzly bear and get mauled

You're left badly mangled in the woods until you're rescued by a well-meaning but not especially bright redneck. You never fully regain your mobility or speech, and wind up resigning yourself to a life as bubba's girlfriend.

I (and about 20 other people) wind up sleeping with Paris hilton. The rest is too horrifying to go into detail, but quite fatal.

No, you were in the Paris Hilton. It's a very nice place, and the concierge even knows enough English to tell you how to get to a local doctor for some antibiotics.

I am launched from a catapult into the stone wall of an old English castle.

Dude! Hitting the wall of the bouncy castle after Your Mother launched you was Awesome!

On Mordae's way out, he pops a hole in the bouncy castle and it falls around me... eventually causing me to suffocate.

You wake up from your nightmare screaming and gasping for air, you don't remember the dream but feel like it was haunted by a shadowy presence.


I start eating nothing but mcdonalds and die of a heartattack after a few months.