And you land on the big hot air balloon directly beneath you. The operator of that balloon gets arrested for not filing a proper flight plan. You get hospitalized and are on suicide watch for the rest of your natural life. They don't even let a dull spork near you.
I am dropped in a huge vat of boiling peanut oil and am boiled alive.
Though your physical body is destroyed outright, your soul remains and eventually inhabits a small plushie peanut. You then spend several years sequels tormenting a small boy while attempting to steal his body.
I meet my evil twin from another dimension. Turns out- that dimension's made out of antimatter. The combined mass/energy consumption annihilates both of me down to the submolecular level and results in an explosion massive enough that it splits the earth in half.
But this was the wrong address, they quickly realize as they jump out of the mailbox. So they pack themselves again in the mailbox with the mention: "Return to Sender", whoever might be this Sender. Though they keep your Sport Illustrated you just received in the mail (at the good address, this time).
I eat a peanut inhabited by akela's soul. My body survive, but might soul is sent to oblivion.