I've been playing adventure quest worlds, because I was bored. Yeah, I rolled a rogue. I also quickly realized that 'classes' are an idea adopted from FFX-2s 'costumes', but impossibly sloppier.
Basically, a class is a piece of 'armor' that you 'wear' and that boosts your attributes. That's it. Everything else combat related is your six attributes. Regarding actual combat mechanics, it's a bastardization of WoW that tells it like it is (the only explanation of mechanics you get is via mousing over statistics and reading big floppy drop-down window descriptions, sigh...).
Your initial 'class' is actually just the way you play. From what I've seen so far: Rogues are tanks. Warriors are versatile and boring. Mages are damage dealers that (hopefully) suffer in defense (and aren't just imba). Healers are completely imba, because they actually hybridize warrior and mage - sorta
; basically just thriving off the reaction that people have to the word 'healer' and the disgust it would initially invoke, if you've played D&D and used an actual class by the name of healer
. Makes sense? Yeah, didn't think so.
As for customizing the look of your character, you get 'class upgrades' via the 'enhance' option, which completely throws everything out of whack.
Because it's anime
- yes, that beautifully creative artform that billions of artists aspire to and completely reflects upon their pure heart and their totally shining awesome imaginative (lemming *cough*) spirit whensoever they coat it more and more in photoshopped lighting and gloss effects complete with eye-candy (hammertomybrain... !) hairstyles... (if sarcasm could only drip) - you can't customize your face
Let me spell that out for those who're skimming.
You. Can't. Customize. Your. Face.
As it stands, your default face is a noseless mannequin with a slightly slanted triangular shape - the only distinction between male and female, being chin and cheek prominence (vice versa for the genders). Srs.
And yet this game is still tolerable, because the quests are rapid fire and repeatable. Yep. Repeatable - as a way of the game telling you 'you know what, there's no way that we're going remember each and every story board style arc that we've coded yet haven't bothered to animate with any amount of distinction, so... yeah, fudge you'. I like to call it, the EA policy
, myself. :P
Even if the game is tolerable (to me; note that I have autistic patience
), it's still pretty sloppy. I mean, it's not so good it's bad (FF7), or even so bad it's good (Dante's Inferno) - it's just sloppy. And bad. Sloppy bad. Slabby.
For Example - the aptly boringly named 'willow creek' is a level 4 zone that involves a certain story-board style arc; itself, the product of lazy writing, which barely even fits into comic-book format suitable enough for the likes of Linkara to review; yes im still beinsupersrs; but, the arc just ends. It just cuts off, basically.
At first thought, it seemed like a puzzle that the in-house staff, coding flash action script on a (probable) minimum wage (or) 6-8 hour coffee breaks, decided to cunningly connive together, after a unecessarily 20 hour long session of bouncing ideas off one another whilst watching porn, getting drunk and playing JRPGs that (just barely) offer greater stimulation than this game (or something).
Yet, it only took a few other thoughts
(not gonna say how many; it's embarassing, really) to realise, though, that there isn't much girth being put into any of the quests. Willowcreek friggin' cuts off, and there's no way to enter the 'no trespass zone' which lies slightly to the right of the cave where I can defeat the 'great evil' which threatens the salamander people and those farmers and whomsoever else contained oodles of unecessary beat-around-the-bush dialogue that JRPGs love to provide and that I abhor to skim through (since provided in them is of course, quest directions on where the hell you have to click on your map).
What the hell, Artix? Hit detection.
Worded so that he can understand (if he even has the patience to read anything but manga or watch animesque on youtube):
. Thank you for your time, sir.
- An Imp
Oh yeah, and also...
Any attempt at comedy this game has is more of the same that I saw in adventure quest ten years ago. It reflects poorly on one's character if there sense of humor doesn't mature appropriately
in that time period. >=(
Basically, it's all just variations on how to break and then egg-scramble said fourth wall a dozen times, and then most likely brutalize the fourth wall's parents as the fourth wall's mangled and barely breathing half-corpse is barely alive and watching. Not necessary, and shameful to 'social realism' comedy in general.
Yeah, savage analogy
- but the above was me utilizing social realist comedy.
Alright, I'm done.
- An Imp