228) As a DM, I am not allowed to create "simple" puzzles for the players to solve.
229) ...or "simple" traps.
230) ...or "simple" puzzles which set off "simple" traps if not solved properly.
231) ...especially if said puzzles require knowledge learned in game to solve.

232) As DM, I'm not allowed to create a new language that my players must then learn to advance the plot.
233) I'm also not allowed to place an alien keypad lock, that they can't hack, at the start of the adventure.

234) I am no longer allowed to write my backstory 'on the fly' to magically encompass every NPC we meet.
235) I am no longer allowed to declare myself 'prince' of anything without the DM's express approval.
236) I am no longer allowed to imply that my character's family "has connections, wink, wink" to every NPC.
...a) Even when it is true.

Be honest - how many of us are taking notes from this thread and planning their next character? XD

237) I am no longer allowed to quote "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" in character.
238) Or "The Princess Bride."
239) Or "Star Wars" (either trilogy).
240) Or the "Harry Potter" series.
241) Or "Airplane!"

*puts up hand*

237) I am not allowed to have a party of more than two, all of the same class.
238) I am not allowed to name my character after Gygax, Drizzt, Harry Potter, Sauron, Gandald, or any other major character from anything.

Ha! If my players ever fought something clearly designed to not be defeated, I'd just laugh at them as they get torn apart.

239) As DM, I am not allowed to place any traps that I cannot read the effects of without bursting into laughter.
240) As DM, I am not allowed to say "rocks fall, everyone dies" if the players are in an open field.
241) I am not allowed to play music off of YouTube and have it provide any effect of any bard spell.
242) I am not allowed to play a cleric that worships himself.
243) I am not allowed to worship a hand puppet.
243b) There is no god named Banjo in the campaign setting.
244) I am not allowed to instigate an alignment argument. Even if I'm bored.
245) I am not allowed to have my character do anything that makes the DM or the other players throw up.

246) I am not allowed to use one of my Bonus Language slots for Jive and then say it is an alternate form of thiev's cant.
247) As a DM, I am not allowed to invent my own traps.
248) As a DM, I am not allowed to have a sprinkler system trap set up, with lamp oil coming out, while the party is trapped in the room. Nor am I allowed to then light the room on fire.
249) I am not allowed to tell the bad guy enemy villain of the campaign, that I will lead him into the player's stronghold and help him kill them. Just because his loot is shinier then ours.
250) I am not allowed to, as the same character. Ask what the DC for sleight of hand on the King's Crown is? Especially if we are in his throne room, being awarded a medal for saving the city from a Red Dragon attack.

251) In said room with a lamp oil sprinkler and burning hands trap AND mudslide falling in from the ceiling I am not allowed to use said mud as a protective coating against the flames
252) I am not allowed to level up until I take 6 hours of rest

...Question, if any of us survive the trapped room are we all bald now?

Healing potions restore physicall appearance and regrow hair. If it can regrow skin cells and bones. Then it grows hair!

Also the mud was covering the door, not the entire room. And so this is not a waste.

253) I am not allowed to roll a d20 and yell out "I attack". Before the GM finishes describing the scene to me. In hopes of getting a surprise attack on the plot.

254) When performing a potential party endangering action I am not allowed to roll anything higher than a critical failure

255) I am not allowed to take 'foreign' as one of my language choices.