Non Sequitur

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1001 things I'm not allowed to do.

   
284) I am not allowed to play my D&D characters as if they were MMO characters, it creeps the other characters out, and annoys DMs

285) As a bard, I am not allowed to take the spell "Magic Probe", from the book of Erotic Fantasy
286) As a generic spellcaster, I am not allowed to the spell "
It's an awesome spell, it tells you all spells and effects currently in effect on a character
Magic Probe", from the book of Erotic Fantasy
287) I am not allowed to tell the DM when I snag spells from the book of Erotic Fantasy
289) I am not allowed to tell other players whern I snag spells from the book of Erotic Fantasy
290) I must tell the DM where my stuff comes from even if it violates another rule.
291) If it comes from the book of erotic fantasy, I must immediatly get rid of it once it is discovered.

292) Even if The Book of Erotic Fantasy is allowed, I am not allowed to play an Incubus, especially if one of the party members is female.
293) I am not allowed to cast magic missile more than once a fight.
294)I am not allowed to refer to my Wand of Fireball as a 'Boom Stick'.
295)I am not allowed to play a rogue with rankes in UMD.*


*I once quickly made our wizard feel inadiquite because all my wands with touch spells hit far more often than his, and he was a 'blaster' Wizard too, which made it funny when I was hitting more often with things like Flame and Acid Arrow. I ended up getting more wands with utility spells like detect secret door and tongues.

This thread makes me sad. All these cool things that I would totally allow if someone would just try them.

296) Even if a DM said he/she'd allow such things to happen, I am not allowed to use anything from this thread because of: Blatant rule abusing; Making the game ridiculous; Book of Erotic Fantasy.

297)I am not allowed to call our Anthro Wolf Sorcerer 'Walking Rule 34'.
298)I am not allowed say that I can punch through a boulder with a 20 strength, disptie the fact that my strength score says I can.
299)I am not allowed to play a two-weapon fighting wizard. I made the two-weapon fighting ranger feel crappy. Long story. <.<
300)I am not allowed to make my kingdom have 300 or more rules unless they have al teast one loop hole.

301) As a DM I am not allowed to make a maze with more than 2 dead ends.
302) I am not allowed to set poisonous flowers in the world. All players will eat them.
303) I am not allowed to put attractive females into my campaign and reasonably expect it to progress without numerous charisma checks.
304) As a player I never spend gold on clothing. I am not allowed to LARP unarmored characters.
305) I am not allowed to put skill points into nutrition awareness.
306) I am not allowed to use Inspire Courage if my bard is playing a triangle. My bard is not allowed to play a key-tar.

307) I am not allowed to play any form of anthropomorphic sea life, Whale Monk, Squid Samurai, etc. Just because it's written doesn't mean it's balanced
308) I am not allowed to play Halfling Bards, three foot tall gigolo's are just creepy
309) I am not allowed to use fruit as a bludgeoning weapon, it doesn't matter what the Drunken Master class says.
310) I am not allowed to wield unconscious foes as flails, it doesn't matter what the Drunken Master class says

311) I am not allowed to use Perform (Sexual) to cast Bardic spells, see 308

312) I am not allowed to dump all my dice in a d6 Star Wars game into the ability 'Bi*ch Slap'
I am, however, allowed to be horribly murdered when I use this ability on Lord Vader
313) I am not allowed to parry the Death Star with my light saber, it doesn't matter if the rules make it seem like I should





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