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1001 things I'm not allowed to do.

   
314) I am not allowed to play a unique Legion Devil with a horde LEGION of Fiend of Possession Legion Devil minions, no matter how f*cking awesome it would be in play.
315) I am not allowed to verbally guess / predict the monsters coming up in a given encounter based on the descrition of the terrain and what we have been fighting recently, especially if I am correct (happened 3 times in a row in last night's Kingmaker campaign).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drowbane View Post
314) I am not allowed to play a unique Legion Devil with a horde LEGION of Fiend of Possession Legion Devil minions, no matter how f*cking awesome it would be in play.
Are your players?

I mean, in general...

316)I am not allowed to have a Doppleganger as a cohort.
317)I am not allowed to have a Cleric of Calistria as a cohort.
318)I am not allowed to have a young bronze dragon as a cohort.
319)I am not allowed to have a play a Necromancy Wizard with a Necromancy wizard cohort.
320)I am not allowed to take the leadership feat.

321) I am not allowed to get something that gains me tempororary skill increases.
322) I am not allowed to create a construct with the skill to create other constructs.
323) I am not allowed to gain a feat that lets me make my temporary skill increases permanent.
324) Though allowed, I should not post my character optimization ideas on the forum.

325) No matter how high my character's Strength is, I am never allowed to burst through a wall shouting "Oh yeah!"

326) I am not allowed to make a mute character that has a telepathic link to his talking parrot, even if I take no points for Mute.

327) I am also not allowed to give my characters bizarre and annoying accents, even especially if I can do them consistently.

328) If several people have different bizzare and annoying accents, I am not allowed to use a more standard one to throw them off.

329) As a DM, I am not allowed to cast any AOE spell at the party immediately following dialogue, even if they have been standing in the door for ten minutes IC
329b) Especially a Delayed Blast Fireball that was triggered by a Contingency spell
329c) I am not allowed to trigger damage spells with the Contingency spell
330) I am no longer allowed to use leading language when describing a room. (i.e. There are no traps that you can see.)
331) I am not allowed to have a remorhaz do strafing runs on the party after they anger it to the point of superheating.
332) I am not allowed to enforce randomized hits if the players are arcing their shots over a wall
332b) Even if it's at a distance of a few hundred feet
333) I am not allowed to throw anything with magic resistance over 50 percent at the party due to my unnaturally godly rolls. Refer to rule 331.
334) I will not use creatures with primarily psionic attacks.
335) I am no longer allowed to use
AD&D creatures with a paralytic sting
lock lurkers disguised as golden coins and embed the entire middle layer of a treasure chest with them.
335b) Even if it makes sense for drow.
336) I am not allowed to take inspiration from the Tomb of Horrors for any traps, even modified.
337) I am not allowed to use a Living Wall.
338) I am not allowed to have any Doctor Who references during a Planescape session.
338b) Nor am I allowed to have the Doctors make a cameo.
338c) Especially more than one at a time.

339) As a player, I am not allowed to set the cleric's holy symbol on fire when charmed and asked to "disable the intruders"
339a) Nor am I allowed to psychically falcon punch the mage in the ribs.
339b) Nor am I allowed to increase the forces of gravity to 400% on the dwarven fighter so that he cannot move in front of the ogre--even if there was only a 5% chance of succeeding.
340) I am not allowed to use Control Wind on a flock of hostile dire ravens to force them to the ground and create an extreme downdraft--propelling them into buildings at high speeds.

341) I am not allowed to spend the entire session speaking in Planar Cant.





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