Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.


1001 things I'm not allowed to do.

   
314) I am not allowed to play a unique Legion Devil with a horde LEGION of Fiend of Possession Legion Devil minions, no matter how f*cking awesome it would be in play.
315) I am not allowed to verbally guess / predict the monsters coming up in a given encounter based on the descrition of the terrain and what we have been fighting recently, especially if I am correct (happened 3 times in a row in last night's Kingmaker campaign).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drowbane View Post
314) I am not allowed to play a unique Legion Devil with a horde LEGION of Fiend of Possession Legion Devil minions, no matter how f*cking awesome it would be in play.
Are your players?

I mean, in general...

316)I am not allowed to have a Doppleganger as a cohort.
317)I am not allowed to have a Cleric of Calistria as a cohort.
318)I am not allowed to have a young bronze dragon as a cohort.
319)I am not allowed to have a play a Necromancy Wizard with a Necromancy wizard cohort.
320)I am not allowed to take the leadership feat.

321) I am not allowed to get something that gains me tempororary skill increases.
322) I am not allowed to create a construct with the skill to create other constructs.
323) I am not allowed to gain a feat that lets me make my temporary skill increases permanent.
324) Though allowed, I should not post my character optimization ideas on the forum.

I thought rule 300 was, "I am not allowed to utilize portable hole, kick my enemies down it and scream, 'This is Sparta!'"

325) No matter how high my character's Strength is, I am never allowed to burst through a wall shouting "Oh yeah!"

326) I am not allowed to make a mute character that has a telepathic link to his talking parrot, even if I take no points for Mute.

327) I am also not allowed to give my characters bizarre and annoying accents, even especially if I can do them consistently.

328) If several people have different bizzare and annoying accents, I am not allowed to use a more standard one to throw them off.

329) As a DM, I am not allowed to cast any AOE spell at the party immediately following dialogue, even if they have been standing in the door for ten minutes IC
329b) Especially a Delayed Blast Fireball that was triggered by a Contingency spell
329c) I am not allowed to trigger damage spells with the Contingency spell
330) I am no longer allowed to use leading language when describing a room. (i.e. There are no traps that you can see.)
331) I am not allowed to have a remorhaz do strafing runs on the party after they anger it to the point of superheating.
332) I am not allowed to enforce randomized hits if the players are arcing their shots over a wall
332b) Even if it's at a distance of a few hundred feet
333) I am not allowed to throw anything with magic resistance over 50 percent at the party due to my unnaturally godly rolls. Refer to rule 331.
334) I will not use creatures with primarily psionic attacks.
335) I am no longer allowed to use
AD&D creatures with a paralytic sting
lock lurkers disguised as golden coins and embed the entire middle layer of a treasure chest with them.
335b) Even if it makes sense for drow.
336) I am not allowed to take inspiration from the Tomb of Horrors for any traps, even modified.
337) I am not allowed to use a Living Wall.
338) I am not allowed to have any Doctor Who references during a Planescape session.
338b) Nor am I allowed to have the Doctors make a cameo.
338c) Especially more than one at a time.

339) As a player, I am not allowed to set the cleric's holy symbol on fire when charmed and asked to "disable the intruders"
339a) Nor am I allowed to psychically falcon punch the mage in the ribs.
339b) Nor am I allowed to increase the forces of gravity to 400% on the dwarven fighter so that he cannot move in front of the ogre--even if there was only a 5% chance of succeeding.
340) I am not allowed to use Control Wind on a flock of hostile dire ravens to force them to the ground and create an extreme downdraft--propelling them into buildings at high speeds.

341) I am not allowed to spend the entire session speaking in Planar Cant.





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