Non Sequitur

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1001 things I'm not allowed to do.

   
418) I am not allowed to attack during the bad guys monologue.
419) I am not allowed to have the bad guy attack during the player's speeches either.
420) I am not allowed to apply the lessons of the Evil Overlord's Handbook. Especially as a DM.

421) Not allowed to do anything I saw in a Monty Python feature.
422) If we are playing a superhero game, my multibilloinare crimefighter must actually but on his battlesuit and go fight crime himself. Simply hiring out all the thugs in the city as night security and throwing money at youth centers doesn't magically solve everything.
423) Just because my druid is a naturist, doesn't mean I can show up at the game table as such.
424) Yes, a cleric can get his divine powers from a "cause". No, that cause cannot be atheism.
425) My permit to sell "magic beans" within the city limits has been revoked.
426) When relaying the king's message to a neighboring realm, paraphrasing is not allowed.

427) I am not allowed to do my version of the Monty Python Dead Parrot sketch when slaying anything undead or with an undead template on it.

428) When I play a Bard and use my Inspire Courage ability, I am not allowed to play any song unless it is suitably epic.
429) When my Bard uses his Incite Riot spell, he is not allowed to play any song besides "Riot" by Three Days Grace.
430) When my Bard uses Inspire Courage to help an ally with his Craft (Construction) check, he is not BY ANY MEANS allowed to sing "Can we build it? Yes we can!"
431) When our party is on a ship of any kind, whether it be on air, land, or water, my Bard is not allowed to sing "I'm On A Boat".
432) You know what, let's just cross each and every Lonely Island song off the list.

433)When on a boat, my bard isn't allowed to play the tuba or trumpet. The DM likes to use them and lightning magnets.

434) I am not allowed to leave the sorcerer's Bag of Endless Sand pouring into her Bag of Holding while she's asleep in an inn.
And more from other party members:
435) I am not allowed to play a half-minotaur goliath warblade.
436) Tome of Battle does not, has not, and will not exist.

437) Just because I can Throw Anything doesn't mean I'm allowed to use smaller party-members as ammunition.

438) I am not allowed to play an oversized race simply to have them be able to throw a larger range of objects and/or demihumans.

439 Book of Erotic Fantasy does not, has not, and will not exist.
440 I am not allowed to play anything with tentacles.

441) In a game with tentacles, I am not allowed to have a Moe Weakness for them.
442) IF I am playing the tentacled beast, I may not use those tentacles in a manner which they were not intended.
443) I'm not allowed to play a disciple of Cthulu in a D&D game simply for the purpose of having tentacles

444: I am not allowed to play a warforged druid.
445: Even if he's made of ironwood.
446: Not allowed to beat Tiamat to death with her own spine as the abovementioned warforged druid.
447: I am not allowed to take the Run feat. Ever.





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