505) I am not allowed to split the mission reward with the target in exchange for a promised to stop misbehaving enforced by a binding ritual.
506) Even if I do that, I am then not allowed to negotiate a restitution for the years the target has been "kept down by The Man."
506a) Especially if I or the party was "The Man" in question.
507) I am not allowed to venture into the monster's territory, after having been at least partially paid to exterminate said monsters, and then throw in with their cause for an additional up-front fee. I think it was the "up-front fee" part that really ticked the DM off.
Ah, good times...
508) I am not allowed to set other party members on fire "as a science experiment."
509) Ditto for holding them underwater.
510) Ditto again for dropping them off cliffs.
511) It seems that, no matter my character's Intelligence score, I am supposed to assume a certain number of truths of how the physical world works that do not need to be tested.
511a) Certainly not more than once, anyway.
From my college roommate...
512) I am not allowed to drink alcohol while playing D&D.
513) I am especially not allowed to drink alcohol while playing D&D if we are playing by candlelight.
514) If I ignore the above two rules and set my character sheet on fire again, I am not allowed to try and flick the flaming paper at the DM, yelling "Fireball, you son of a bitch!"
515) If all of the above happen again, it will be my turn to explain it to the
|Residential Assistant, basically the upperclass student living on the floor who is supposed to make sure underclassmen don't drink or set fire to their rooms |
More as I collect them from friends and sort-of-friends...