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Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.


1001 things I'm not allowed to do.

   
16. I am not allowed to assume everything I encounter can be used a power component for magic item creation, such as a chuck of a statue from a frost giant who was turned to stone.

17. I am not allowed carry around the petrified halfling as a trap detector..
18. I am not allowed to claim that said halfing now has infinite ranks in Perform: Mime
19. I am not allowed cast enlarge person on self and use the petrified halfling as a makeshift club.
20. Finally I am not allowed to use Enchanted petrified halflings as Balista ammunition...

By the way the Halflings name was Beau Tosscobble.. Which makes that last one even funnier.

Ah yes the fun of using gnomes.

21) I am not allowed to dominate anything with tentacles. Regardless of how I dominate it.
22) I am not allowed to try splashing water on a fire elemental to try killing it.
23) Gnomeball is not a real sport.

24 I am not allowed to use a necromantic bomb on an orphanage "just to see what exciting kinds undead are created".

25 I am not allowed to give PCP to the barbarian
25b Or anyone else
25c The water supply is also off limits

26 I am not allowed to be a gnome druid

27 Corpses are not to be a source of amusement

28 I am not allowed to pretend to be Steve Irwin.

29.) I am not allowed to use the halfling who paralyzed himself via trap as a football with the other PC's.
30.) I am not allowed to learn craft poison for the primary purpose of paralyzing the halfling to use him as a football.
31.) I am not allowed to use the Paralyzed halfling to play fetch with the red dragon.
32.) I am not allowed to treat the red dragon as a dog, the other player's don't like the consequences.
33.) Riding the red dragon against it's will does not allow me to win the game.
34.) Forcing the red dragon to be my pet and to gain money is in violation of rule 12, and thus I must not do it.

35) I am not allowed to charge people for looking at my fellow party members as a freak show, even if their builds ask for it.
36) I am not allowed to optimize my Sleight of Hand to the point where I can lift vital organs off people without them notice.
37) Come to think of it, I'm prohibited from playing anything or anyone with Sleight of Hand.

Mmmm, cookies.

39) Even though I was right,
a) I'm not allowed to tell the party "I told you."
b) I'm not allowed to tell the party "Your fault for not listening to me."
c) I'm not allowed to tell either of those to the DM after he doubts me on the function of a spell or feat from core.
40) I'm not allowed to burst out laughing after using spellcraft to identify the
It was Sleep
spell the NPC just cast on the level 6 party
41) I'm not allowed to use the holes in the plot to make the BBEG 'see the error of his ways'
42) I'm not allowed to point out that what a fellow party member is attempting to do doesn't work according to the rules unless the DM looks at / asks me
43) I'm not allowed to negotiate any prices (Quest rewards, merchant prices, etc) - especially not when using Guidance of the Avatar
44) I'm not allowed to have unlimited Detect Magic / permanent Arcane Sight - and ask about all the magical auras I see. All the time.
45) I'm not allowed to take 'disarm' literally - and do it to enemies.

46) I am not allowed to play any character smaller than Small. The voice I do for them makes the DM and the other players claw at their ears.

47)I am not allowed to use the Time Stop pocket nuke.
48)I am not allowed to play a character with an Intelligence less than 5.
49)I am not allowed to to call the Half-Orc Barbarian 'Afro-san'.
50)I am not allowed to play the Half-Orc Barbarian named 'Afro-san'.
51)Now tha I think about it, nothing related to a Half-Orc Barbarian named 'Afro-san' is allowed.
52)I am not allowed to use the petrified Elf Wizard as a magic item detector.
53)I am not allowed to to call a fellow player a pervert when he plays a female fighter, even when he is one.
54)I am not allowed to use the Wish spell to turn me into Pun-Pun.
55)I am not allowed to use Pun-Pun, ever.
56)I am not allowed to use Mage Hand, or any other Hand spell, to give the Big-Bad the middle finger.
57)I am not allowed to use the Control Weather spell to make the clouds shapped like a hand giving the middle finger, it angers the dragons.
58)Come to think about it, I am no longer allowed to use any spell to make something give anyone the middle finger.
59)I am not allowed to call my friends character a 'dick on a stick', especially if his character is named Richard and tied to a pole of any kind.




 

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