Non Sequitur

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1001 things I'm not allowed to do.

   
637) in the event of playing star wars, I may not use the force to turn the junkyard into trashcan shen long and have him eat all the bosses of the current story arc.
638) as a paladin, I'm not allowed to use lay on hands to b**** slap undead
a)especially intelligent ones.
639) or test the npc's nature by telling him where treasure is without mentioning the death trap inside the chest.
640) give npc's hope in a savage world game.

641) I am no longer allowed to use the decanter of endless kittens to create a huge amount of kittens that are so adorable people just cant let them starve which causes the town to starve to death as they attempt to feed the endless amount of kittens.
642) I am not allowed to awaken an endless amount of kittens to combat the orc horde. Not even if I give them all magic weapons.
643) If I am the leader of an unstoppable nation of awakened kitten warriors, I am not allowed to name it Canada.
644) If confronted with a canyon. I am not allowed to build a bridge out of kittens by filling the canyon.
645) I am not allowed to use the use the big bads secret flaw Moe Weakness "Kittens" to defeat him. Nor does the geyser function do extra damage against him because of his flaw.
646) I am not allowed to use the kittens for food. Nor is it acceptable to fill a persons bedroll with kittens even if it is adorable when they start to scratch him to death.
647) The answer to every problem is not more kittens.
648) I am not allowed to take weapon proficiency feline
649) I am not allowed to enchant the kittens for purposes of using them as weapons.
650) I am no longer allowed to use the decanter of endless kittens.
651) I am not allowed to summon up an army of Jovoc and convince a organization of paladins to try to kill them.
Man I got a great amount off of that one. I wish this thread updated more often.

652) I am not allowed to use a Wish spell to summon Hank out of Madness Combat to slay my enemies for me.
653) when I try to summon Hank through a portal using wish, I am not allowed to complain when my DM/GM uses the improbability drive as an excuse to cause my immediate demise in some ridiculous fashion.

I dont think we are going to reach 100 but almost 700 is still pretty good

656) If I play a psionic I am not allowed to mind seed an entire town. Trying again the next day every time I fail.
657) If I have disobeyed the above rule I am not allowed to build a nation out of my mindseeds if my name is King Steve
658) If I disobeyed rule 656 I am not allowed to issue edicts by forcing other people to go tell them my will through the use of telepathy
659) I am no longer allowed to play psion

660) I'm not allowed to use Prestidigitation to make myself smell of fresh baked cookies for the purposes of improving diplomacy.
661) I'm not allowed to eat babies...ever
662) I'm not allowed to have my character's memory erased to avoid writing a back story. Amnesia is a horrible affliction and should not be mocked.
663) I'm not allowed to use fresh produce as an improvised weapon
664) I'm not allowed to speak in a Scottish accent in-game, ne'er agin laddie
665) I'm not allowed to convince villains to commit suicide even if I can roll a fifty
666) I'm not allowed to loudly praise the great Satan when I roll a 20, even if it is his game ;-)

woohoo I got 666!

Nope, 2500. And that's the point....

667. Even if the Book of Vile Darkness isn't allowed, so technically there is no spell to create drugs, I can't use Prestidigitation to provide it.

Rule 668. I am not allowed to turn other players' characters into zombies just to prove a point.





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