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Non Sequitur

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1001 things I'm not allowed to do.

   
204) I am no longer allowed to recruit a dozen hirelings to strip a dungeon bare of every solitary item, appraise each and every single thing, and then delay the campaign for an in-game year while I try to barter away everything at the nearest town with seven hundred diplomacy rolls.

205. I am no longer allowed to demand the DM provide detailed zoning laws as I plan my compound.
206. I am not allowed to threaten to destroy the city if they do not demolish orphanages and churches to make space for my compound.
207. I am not allowed to depose the ruling council of the main city in the campaign.
207a. Especially if I intend to install the party as the new council.
208. I am not allowed to negotiate secret deals with rival cities that may or may not include security details.
209. Buying thousands of slaves to dig under the city so it eventually collapses is strictly forbidden.

These two come from a fellow character:

210. I am not allowed to decapitate every vanquished enemy on the off chance that he is The Highlander.
211. I am not allowed to drink the blood of any defeated mage in an attempt to become a sorceror.

212) I'm not allowed to call my 2 week old nephew's trumps a "natural maximised cloudkill" spell

213) I am not allowed to refer to the Red Wizards of Thay in the Forgotten Realms setting as Super Thayans.

214) I am not allowed to have a halfling be a barbarian, or a halforc be a wizard.

215) I am not allowed to bypass all combat encounters with a +15 Bluff/diplomacy/intimidate roll
216) As DM I am not allowed to go 2 rounds without a 5 minute side conversation
217) I am not allowed to provide the party with cursed Bracer's of Strength... the curse being that when they are on you can't talk
218) I am not allowed to trap a chest with a "silence" spell... the party rouge does not like this (I enjoy it though)
219) I am not allowed to kill all the players at level 1 right after they finish making their characters...
220) I am further not allowed to make said death be without a saving throw...

221) I am not allowed to use my spiked chain to attack the party's wizard while fighting a Rust Monster.


222) I am not allowed, as a DM, to require my players to remember what their characters did 1 year ago in real life. I'm the only one who remembers that.
223) I am never again allowed to pair up two Rust Monsters and a Gelatinous Cube, even if it does make perfect sense.

224) As a DM, I am not allowed to create overpowered enemies the players are supposed to run from. They will always attack them.
225) As a player, If I get a huge load of hints that the enemy is far above my strength, I am not allowed to fight it anyways.
226) If a party is mainly melee and sneak attack/critical focused, I am, as a DM, not allowed to make them face multiple undead monsters.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MadHatter View Post
221) I am not allowed to use my spiked chain to attack the party's wizard while fighting a Rust Monster.

Oh, now that is a low blow xD I think I will keep this in mind for the next encounter.

227) I am not allowed to use my favorite dice when the party ranger is present (more like a thief to me!)





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