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How To Survive A Zomie Apocalypse!

   
How To Survive A Zomie Apocalypse!

You're not going to!

Have you seen these shows/movies?! Whole cities, countries, and even the whole world gets turned into a zombie. There are like what? Five heroes? And by the end of the movie there maybe be one. I've seen threads on this site about what to pack or have ready encase of zombies. But, I'm a realist. The odds of me, or anyone, being the sole survivor is next to zero. So I say why not prepare realistically.

In the movies most of the zombies are using weapons/equipment that they just happen to have on them. A fireman may have an ax, a housewife a kitchen knife of rolling pin, a farmer a pitch fork...you get the picture.

So, the zombie apocalypse is here. There are zombies banging on your house door, or your trapped in your car surrounded by zombies. You think to yourself, 'This is it. My ass is going to be a zombie in less then five minutes.' So, since you have read this thread you have prepared for this. You reach into your zombie bag and prepare.

What's in it?! How do you prepare?

In mine I figure I would have a nice hatchet. Not as big as an ax. Easy to handle. Does not take much thought. I figure with my zombie brain I should be able to handle it fairly well.

I would also have some body armor. Good body armor. One with a steel plate in it to stop the humans bats as well as the bullets.

I would also have a kevlar helmet. This may not do much for a zombie, but I figure it could not hurt.

So, what's in your zombie bag?

No offense, but...

Zombies don't use weapons. Any movie that shows them doing that is not canon. Zombies have little brain activity, and the only weapons they use are their strength and their teeth.

Considering the original zombie stories not only had them using tools, but being skilled enough to build thatch housing (for their masters)... you lose.

When the zombie apocalypse comes and your about to be killed by a chain. Just tell the zombie 'That's not canon!'

This is just meant to be a fun silly game. Nothing more.

I'd go with a large crowbar. Prying open boards to get to the juicy people inside. Good effective weapon. AND I can use it to block that ass that's going around smacking my new brethren with a baseball bat.

I understand it's just a silly game, and I honestly meant no offense to anybody. I just don't care for what's happened to our beloved horror movie zombies in that they now, thanks to George Romero, carry guns and axes. Happened in 2 of Romero's movies - Day and Land.

With that said, assuming I could use whatever weapon I had on me when I turned, I'd go with machete. Metal, sharp edge, has decent reach.

... Considering Zombies are a result of african voodoo magic. Or the mythos surrounding it. The "beloved horror movie zombies" were ALREADY a bastardized violation of canon.

So... justify how YOUR bastardization is somehow better than THEIR bastardization?


I mean, if you were arguing in favor of the original version. You'd have a case. But you're not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TanaNari View Post
... Considering Zombies are a result of african voodoo magic. Or the mythos surrounding it. The "beloved horror movie zombies" were ALREADY a bastardized violation of canon.

So... justify how YOUR bastardization is somehow better than THEIR bastardization?


I mean, if you were arguing in favor of the original version. You'd have a case. But you're not.

Well, in most fiction, zombies are based around the monsters from Night of the Living Dead who were called ghouls (which is more appropriate) in that movie and the term zombie was eventually plastered onto the template of the ghouls from that movie. So its less of a bastardization and more of a general shift in connotations and naming conventions within the English language which is a very common occurrence.

As for sticking to the topic of the thread, the key idea is distance. Physically I can't stand up to a little girl, let alone something that uses the full strength of the human body (or even more of it). While it is common to depict zombies of being able to just burst through fortifications like doors or such, there is a physical limit to it. Its easy to forget common limitations of the body when reading fiction or watching movies, but physics is a cruel mistress and a very annoying class to take in school.

Barricading oneself at a choke point, such as at the top of a stair case where it would be difficult for zombies to push against it, or within a narrow hallway that limits the amount of force that can be put against it at once will cause the zombies to sooner break their bones against them rather than push through. And if they do that, they will be even less likely to break through. Similarly, positioning oneself where a zombie can't climb up is effectively safe as well. Though you would be less able to move about, it is much safer than trying to move around through zombie hordes.

If it is essential to have to move past zombies, it would be better to collect nets and sheets and use them to hamper and distract the zombies by throwing the item on them. Though it won't damage them (a capability which should be reserved to guns and explosives), it will distract small concentrations of them enough to run past and should be common in urban areas.

Getting into a melee with a zombie risks being damaged yourself. Regardless of methods of transmission of the condition, unless you can kill the zombie in one hit in melee, you will get hit. And if there are other zombies around, that one hit may weaken you enough to get hit again and again so it isn't very viable of a solution, especially since zombies will usually not stop attacking at the same pain or damage threshold as humans will.

Keradi... you missed two points.

1- I was asking him how he could say other people are doing zombies wrong, then turn around and defend ANOTHER kind of zombies that are done at least as wrong.

2- The OP wasn't asking what you'd take along to PROTECT you from zombies. The question was... what would you choose to take along when you BECOME a zombie.




 

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