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Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.


Epic Forum Member Beatdown Thread

   
Rising from the crushed and strangled remains of my now useless mortal shell, I hover over the battlefield and glare down at the sad, meaty mortal fools. Fire erupts from my left hand, kittens from my right and I rain flaming cuteness upon my enemies before reincarnating as a nearby Boston Terrier. 'Woof, snarl, bark bark...whimper?'

I fire another kill sat at the barking dog because it dared bark over my mastery of the heavens. Also I kill sat a couple flys and bees because I get bored.

I lean over and turn off Attikols video games and give a poisoned kiss. *Yes, I'm female. <.<' *

I pull of my face to reveal I am in fact Reemos. Reemos pulls off her face to reveal she is in fact Attikol. Reemos then dies from the poison that..well that I put on I guess. Confused immensely by what happened I fall to my knees and scream at the heavens for disguises R us making fake faces 1 dollar each with a fake body suit free.

And I set both of you on fire with an ordinary zippo. The cheap plastic goes up like napalm. Because it is napalm. Bought in bulk from a supply depot that hadn't been emptied out since Vietnam.

Somewhere hiding in the woods is a Hatter as mad as could be. He is wielding a PSG1 Sniper Rifle. A single hollow point bullet can be seen exiting the back of TanaNari's head. A flash suppressor protecting the Sniper from discovery. After he fired Madhatter activated his cloaking field. Making himself invisible.

Solid snake then sneaks up behind this hatter of madness and breaks his neck. Octacon then contacts snake and they talk for the next 5 hours explaining why and how Snake found and murdered this crazy hatter of hats. This is the greatest explanation ever. Unfortunately no one but Snake and Octacon could stand listening to each other for 5 hours and this explanation gets skipped causing everyone to be confused about what the plot is.

Scarecrow71: Eagle 12, this is Eagle Commander, do you copy?

Eagle 12: Eagle Commander, this is Eagle 12.

Scarecrow71: You have orders to deploy.

Eagle 12: Deploying package now, Eagle Commander. Target "attikol" has been struck.

Scarecrow71: Need a visual confirmation that the target has been destroyed.

Eagle 12: Confirmation. Target is destroyed.

Scarecrow71: Confirmed. Eagle 12 report back to base. This is Eagle Commander to Rat Commander.

Rat Commander: Eagle Commander, this is Rat Commander.

Scarecrow71: Rat Commander, you are clear to proceed with radiation decontamination in sector Alpha-45-1A. Burn everything, including whatever might be left of target "attikol".

Rat Commander: Orders understood. Prepare for decontamination...

attikol has been struck by a 100 gigaton nuclear device that was launched from near-earth orbit. The area he was in is now being cleansed and decontaminated. Radiation poisoning might affect any who are left standing there for the next, oh, 100 million years or so.
What Just Happened?

The Mad Hatter was really Deadpool in disguise though. As he stood up, his neck regenerating. He turned and fired his missile launcher into the Plane Scarecrow was in. Killing him. Deadpool Hatter then ran through the woods to get to his getaway jeep.

Attikol walks up to random bespectacled guy and points to the Deadpool Hatter. "Hey that guy says you look stupid". The random bespectacled guy flew into a rage turning giant and green for this random bespectacled guy is actually Bruce Banner who has just transformed into the incredible hulk. If there is one thing that Hulk hates slightly more than everything that moves, does not move, does not and does move at the same time it is Deadpool. Hulk is on hatter like a hobo on a potato beating Hatter into so many pieces some art critics come along and start evaluating the way Hulk can put his emotions into his "art".




 

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