Start with this............





Add this



http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/awaken.htm



And come out with an attitude of this

By the Gods, that would be annoying!

... I think I would enable some sort of Save or die if you ever encountered that thing.. Because it would make you laugh, cringe and want to flee all at once..

Your dream,
Your DM's and fellow players' nightmare...

I think I speak for most Gm's when I say..."No..Just No"

I feel compelled to post this and this.

I feel the compelled to mention that BOTH those species are delicious.