Non Sequitur

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Worst/Funniest Death

Worst/Funniest Death

What is your worst/funniest dnd death?

3.5, played a Rogue
The DM who thought that he was one hilarious dude threw a boss who controlled a swarm of burrowing insects at us, and I failed my spot check to notice one of the buggers getting into my skin. After three game days, my character was a living hive, and he exploded in a huge blood bath, sending 200 more of the things at my party.

3.5, friends Sorcerer
A friend named Frankie attacked a group of monkeys just because he felt like it. The monkeys got pissed off and started throwing their own crap at him, and with a Constitution of 8 plus a few good rolls later the Sorcerer was dead having choked on a well aimed piece of crap.

3.5, friends Warforged Ranger
Part of a chaotic campaign, the warforged ranger took the "adamantium armor" feat, so his body was made of a large chunk of that. It was unfortunate, because the rest of the party decided to part him out and sell the components...
On the plus side, he was worth some good money.

A duskblade, having just managed to take out a pirate captain alongside a psion is wandering around the Golden Dragon in the Voyage of the Golden Dragon module, when he's jumped by a bunch of mooks in a corridor. The ship's cook, a halfling, who my DM played like Gordon Ramsay, necks a potion of invisibility and runs off.

We clear up the bad guys and are looting the bodies, when Gordon Ramsay reappears, sneak attacks me with a kitchen knife, and kills me in one hit.

GMing a 2nd edition group that included a rogue and a barbarian. The barbarian has a ring of meteor swarm that he found in an earlier dungeon, but he hasn't identified it and has no clue what it does. The party is fighting a group of trolls in a cave, and the rogue is maneuvering around back for a backstab while the rest of the party is engaged up front. The barbarian slays one of the trolls off on one side and turns to realize the paladin, cleric, and fighter/mage are taking lumps. He points the ring at the trolls and bellows, 'HURT IT BAD!', not realizing the rogue was behind the trolls. Everyone took major damage and the party retreated, but the rogue was at that point surrounded by unhappy trolls. The rogue's player immediately picked up the player's handbook and turned to page 2.

This is an example of "non sequitur", a thread which does not engender discussion per se. We don't mind them, but they don't belong in GD, hence the move.

2nd edition, very strict DM. Made a first level wizard who had, after rolling my d4 and a DM with no mercy, 1 hit point.

Fleeing combat (he did this a lot) he fell down the stairs. And died. Lame.

But funny.

I was playing a 3.5 duo game. I was an Archivist/Wizard/Mystic Thuerge and the other guy was a Half-Silver Dragon/Fighter. We went into this abandoned temple and killed some weird water mummy. All of a sudden this spell flies out of nowhere (Invisible Wizard) and the Fighter is instantly held.

So I'm like CRAP! now what? Then these two invisible thieves come up and Coup De Grace him. No more Fighter. So now I have two rogues and a wizard to kill by myself. Killed the rogues and went to work on the wizard.

He cast Shield, so no Magic Missile. So I was like "Oh, Scorching Ray, then." He cast Resist Elements. So I was like "Fine, I'll shoot him with my bow." He cast Protection from Arrows. Eventually I got him with a scroll of something or other, but the DM still hasn't lived down killing the Fighter in one surprise round, leaving the lone spellcaster by himself.

We were playing NWN, and we had split up. 4 of us arrived at the prison to find a locked main door with no way to open from the outside. No problem, our wizard had a scroll of knock. Door opens, 3rd level rogue moves in slowly with his bow ready. Two half-orc prisoners jump out and attack. At this point you think well crap, but no worries the other 3 of us can save him. NO! Both half-orcs score critical hits, with a greatsword and a greataxe...

To top it off one was a barbarian in a rage. Total damage 42 points to our 15 hp rogue in 2 hits. No way to save him. Effectively killed the pbp game too.

3.5 Eberron

My swashbuckler ended up riding a grell patriarch into a volcano - we were fighting in Khyber, came across this nest of grell and got to the patriarch. Our artificer uses a scroll of raise volcano, my swashbuckler jumps on top of the patriarch and shoves her swords into his brain and our shifter barbarian, wearing a ring of dragonshape, turns into a red dragon and bullrushes it into the volcano. My swash didn't make the jump in time...

3.5-4E - an ongoing campaign we've had that ended and then revived, set 20 years later. My rogue was universally despised by the party for several minor indiscretions (she didn't KNOW the coins she was exchanging for drug money were actually people's souls, the party's paladin and warmage among them...) and decided at the end of the campaign to fake her death - she'd done it once before and it'd worked, so she tried it a second time with equally good results. However, 20 years later when she got dragged back into the conflict, everyone was like "hang on... you're dead. I was at your funeral! I saw you dance a gallows jig!!"

"Yeah... I got better."

"We're sorry for your loss!"

My dad used to help DM a game with his neighborhood buddies including his brother, the mayor, and a die-hard DND roller.
They played the original.
My dad ducked out for a game and while his buddies were mad at him, his brother rolled up a big monster, like a giant.
While each of the players said "I'm getting out of here" without hesitation...
There was no one to reply for dad's character.
The next day each one of them handed him a bereavement card: "We're sorry for your loss"!
You bet the next time they met my dad rolled up a couple dragons for each one of them... HE HEE!

Later when I was playing, there was a bandit leader trying to rob my first caravan ride.
"Alright, hand over the valuables and no one gets hurt!" There were 24 bandits, some carrying heavy crossbows, and 6 guards including me. You know the invincible feeling you get when you have 18/64 strength and you're just starting out?
"Okay," I said. "We'll get you something nice. It ain't rare or very valuable..." PM me for the end result.

I was DMing an adventure (my first one) and my gruop of 3 level 1 (Cleric, Paladin and Rogue) found a giant stone door on which it was written (in spanish, and verse) something like "watch out adventurer for here wanders a human with horns".
Oh, and the temple was greek style.
The thing is, they said "how difficult can a Minotaur be?"
They lasted 2 rounds... lol


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