Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.

Some memorable one-liners/jokes from your RP's

PC: I'm gonna burn it down.
DM: There are people inside.
PC: I know, but we'll get the guy.
DM: What?!? Ok... Change your alignment.
PC: What? Why?
DM: Well your burning down a building filled with mostly innocents to get 1 bad guy...
*big argument about the process of alignment changes*
PC: Ok Fine *Changes Alignment* We burn it down...
DM: *Checks the character sheet* *dramatic pause* There's an enchantment on the building... the fire doesn't catch...

After getting really drunk in game, and failing enough fort saves to fall unconcious...

DM: You wake up with a splitting headache, and the first thing you see are prison bars. You look in the mirror to see a fake beard glued to your face, glasses drawn around your eyes and a purple wizards hat on your head... Oh... ya... and your butt hurts.

Sorry to double post, but its been awhile since last one...

This isn't a memorable quote as much as it is a song...

Figure it out... My character was a bard, and this was the song sung for bonus'...

*Sung to "This is the song that never ends"*

This is the troll that never dies...
Our lack of fire is making me cry...

Our Party... started stabbing it
not knowing what it was...
and we'll continue stabbing it
forever just because...

This is the troll that never dies....


Speaking of songs..

I found one. Not mine admitiedly.. But very much worth posting.

Slashing through our foes
With a good two-handed blade
Over the corpses we go
And through the gore we wade.
Mace on helmets ring
Making bodies fly
What fun it is to sing out slayinng song
and watch these suckers DIE!
Oh, ring their bells with swords and spells
don't let them get away!
We're brave and bold for fame gold
We'll make a lot to day!
Oh, ring their bells with swords and spells
don't let them get away!
We'll hack and slash and blast and trash
And blow these dudes away!"

Sung to "Riding through the snow" - I think. I forget.. maybe it's "riding on our two horse slay" Or whatever.
I'm sure you'll work it out.

I have a few more, If anyone's interested..

Haha, those are great! Sure, post more songs!

Originally Posted by Nocturnal View Post
"It appears to be Ooze Ghost Residual Essence, Providing Arcane Necessities To Induce Effective Sorcery. I forget the proper name, but I think it's an acronym of some sort. Anyway, we'll need a strong light source if we intend to pursue the goblin."
That... That's an acronym for OGRE PANTIES.

Yeah, that was sort of a response to this:

(My wizard was sort of a windbag.)

Actually it happened after this, spoken by the paladin in blue and the warlock and wizard in green:

First time I ever played and the DM's little sister was playing a Mage who was rather attached to her raven familiar. The introductory dungeon:

DM: "The party enters the room.You notice a shiny ball attached to the ceiling."
Sister: "I send my familiar to examine the ball."
DM: "Familiar examines the ball and burst into flame. The remaining carcass falls on your face dealing 1d6 of fire damage plus 1d6 of bludgeoning damage."
Sister: "What?!? NO!"
DM: "Roll 'em, b****."

When playing shadow run a few years ago we needed a couple of new characters. The GM told us one of us know of a bar that used to be a computer shop before the big crash where out of work shadow runners hang out it's name the PC box.

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